Sitting in science class that day
that day started in a normal way
We were doing a science lab, I was measuring sulfur in a beaker
when teh principal came over the loud speaker.
He said two jumbo jets hit the trade center, none of us kids knew what he ment
but since grief counseling was being offered, off some kids went.
The teachers kept talking in worried wispers, but us kids just shrugged and let it go
it wasn't until I got home that I finally did know.
On every channel of the TV those jets crashed again and again
and the country held it's breath waiting to hear our president's plan.
That was teh only week of eigth grade I remember well
I repressed teh rest, taht school was hell.
But I will never forget the pricipal's anouncement, or our teacher's fear
or when most kids didn't come in the next day because their parents wanted them near.
The day of teh attack our somewhat peaceful nation went insane
for weeks tears for teh lost fell like rain.
I didn't understand why everyone was so shocked, so alarmed
why people became terrified of a small country that was armed.
I had never had such destruction happen in my life
I had no prior experience of such fear and strife.
I am not thrilled with the government, or Bush and his gang
but I am proud to be an american, because when catastrophy struck, united we sang.
We haven't been torn apart from those outside our nation
instead strife inspires us to be kind and give a donation.
We are brought closer together when others may part
and that is why America will always have a place in my heart.
Author notes
sorry about my spelling
my computer is acting up
A contest entry
- Have You Forgotten??? by Talking Toni.
450 points, ended September 10, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow so great so much deatial srry about teh spelling
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This is really good. I love the heart of this. God bless you.
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Your rhyming is forced. Really forced. Also, the lines are too long to flow really well.
However, this was content rich! You gave me loads of information and changing emotion as the poem shifted that it made up for the other stuff. -
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a lot of people say that about my rhyming. I don't really write poetry for the structure, I write it for the point I am trying to make.
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not to be mean acutally a question where is the forced rhyms? i coudnt really find to many and some of the lines were amazing *That was the only week of eigth grade I remember well I repressed the rest, taht school was hell*
or *I am not thrilled with the government, or Bush and his gang but I am proud to be an american, because when catastrophy struck, united we sang* and other lines it was just really good and makes you remember the one day that made sworn enemys unite and that our country may be africa-america or china-america but no matter what people will not agree with us i dont even agree with us i mean there was no point for our soldiers to still be dieing in iraq
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What I mean by a forced rhyme is that even though the rhyming is good, the way the lines are structured makes the rhyme less forceful. A pause in an already long line distracts from rhyming, too long of lines distracts from rhyming, etc. What I'm referring to is the beginning of the poem, the rest is actually very, very good.
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i see like if she rhymed lab instead of beaker i see now ok thanx that might help me
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back then i was in 4th grade when it happened so i was just kinda joking about it till it really hit me and talking toni is right i went back to that day i was talking to friend about somthign when my teacher turned on the tv to a burning building i didn't even knew exsists
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Nice Job.......
except for spelling this was pretty well written. I could actually go back to that day while reading your work. Thanks for entering your poem and sharing your memories of that day and how yo felt. Good luck in the contest!!!~~Toni~~
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