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Downpour (haiku chain)

 

on a rainy day
birds' meal

only water

 

  

on a rainy day

instead of dawn choir 

pitter-patter            

 

 

on a rainy day

bird's song

drenched

            

  

Author notes

Image #23

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Sai Babas Lotus
    October 20, 2007

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    on a rainy day
    bird's song
    drenched

    WOW! I love this(the last haiku)!!! Its brilliant, Mina ji! It is awesome, really. Congrats on the Bronze!

    Charishma


  • Harrisham Minhas
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hey Mina
    This is a wonderful poem.
    Beautifully written.
    Congrats on the bronze!

    • mina nagi
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Mins...
      Hey India beat Pakistan...
      Chak De India


  • bengalibelle
    September 8, 2007

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    All three are nice but like the last one the best."bird's song drenched" brings beautiful images to mind.Well- done and best of luck!!

    • mina nagi
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Sonju, your words are always drenched with kindness...

      mina


  • NoWayJo
    September 2, 2007

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    I really like this haiku-chain which works so well with this avatar-image. My most favorite of the chain is #3--The last line seems so unexpected and the last-line "drenched" is an evocative image of the scene in one single word.

    Thank you so much for this entry to the contest, Mina!

    Jo

  • Pari Ali
    September 1, 2007
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    much better

  • Pari Ali
    September 1, 2007

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    in lieu of? How busines like!!!!! but I like the thought. It is sweet and I can hear the pitter patter.

    • mina nagi
      September 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanx...I've changed it to "instead" - which means same as in-ieu

      mina


  • Sonja
    August 30, 2007
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    Interesting haiku chain. Wish you the best.
    ~Sonja~

  • leehans
    August 30, 2007

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    good attempt at this form of poetry I think it has good imagery-there is some excellent advice about writing haiku at haikumonk's contents page- it really helped me to understand the art of writing haiku


  • baawri
    August 28, 2007

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    Fantastic

    A nice one. It makes me sympathise with the poor birds who have got nowhere to go and eat in the rain. I too had seen a little mother pigeon who delivered her baby egg in her nest in our college when it was pouring severely yesterday. Lovely poem.

1 - 12 of 12