Trusting you was a stupid mistake
And I've had just about all I can take
I'm through playing you stupid games of false trust
None of your games have rules that are just
You twist it around and say it's a fault of mine
So lie and decieve me
Sure that's just fine
Betrayal is a weapon
It isn't a game
Like playing with fire
Once lit can't be tame
You choose to betray your friend who was true
So now you're alone
And what do you do?
You blame it on me that you can't suceed
But it's no fault of mine
You must follow not lead
Think of your past learn from your mistake
Betrayal gives nothing
It does nothing but take
A contest entry
- Pre-write Party ~ Closes In One Day by Namita.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me depressing poetry you have. by karebear.
386 points, ended December 3, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BackStabber! by GypsyEyes.
575 points, ended April 18, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Friendship by brightsmylesxx.
700 points, ended April 17, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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We have ourselves a finalist! This is really a great poem, it brings the emotion to life and the rhyme makes it flow so nicely. Great powerful write! Thanks for entering and good luck!
~
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in response to your last two lines: ahem DAMN STRAIGHT! ok now for the rest of your poem! i enjoyed reading it! it is very good! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck!
NineTailedFox -
This was a great piece you penned here. This spoke out in high volume. The flow is perfect and the imagery is grand. Great job and wonderful message penned here. Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
deception is always wrong
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Superb explanation and great rhyme and structure
as well; however, a bit more punctuation throughout
would definitely add more appeal and allow for when
and when not to pause. Good write!
Keep penning!
~The INC." -
Very well written poem, I can feel the anger. Keep writing, you're very talented ^_^ oxox <333 Amber
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Are you betrayed by someone? I can relate to what the lines in the poem says because I had experienced it too
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Point made clear
That is just how I am feeling at this moment concerning a number of issues.
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Great job on this. Excellent use of words in expressing the hurt and anger that betrayal brings.
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This was a great bit of writing and well worthy of the gold trophy that you got for it. I/m sure at one point in time that we have all been betrayed and it's something none of us like. But i'm sure the people that betray us will get the other end of the stick eventually and they will see for themselves that it's not a nice thing to happen. Keep up the great work my friend. Kenny
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i can see that you win the gold with this poem and i can't agree more with that.
it is so well wrote and the flow is perfect, i also like a lot the rhyme in some part of this poem.
my favorite part is:
You blame it on me that you can't suceed
But it's no fault of mine
You must follow not lead
it is such a truth friends don't need to lead eachother but to walk side by side.
take care and keep up the good work.
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