That big ole moon
rose up tonight
and I feel the aching
strong
My man’s away
and I hunger
Wishing bad
that he was home
I don’t know
can he understand
How a woman’s
got her own fire
That’ll burn her up
and then burn out
‘cause he leave her
with desire
It don’t seem right
to ask for any more
than Louis got to give
But jus’ as I’m
a gettin’ going’
Louis already
gone and did
Author notes
Growing up, I was always intrigued listening to some of my grandmama's "hired girls" discussing their lives. Sometimes I'd get popped for asking what something I'd overheard meant. It was clear they had pretty interesting lives, especially compared to my mother and grandmother.
A contest entry
- Gone and Done With.....You. by Nostalgia.
550 points, ended September 7, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I really like it. You convey the voice of your character very well. Oh a woman yearning! I understand that! Nicely done
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Kinky
Most of the poem was very good, in fact it was all pretty good and I bet a lot of women have that complaint, some men just don't realize.
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Beautiful and truthful, I love the way you put this poem together.
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Damn good
This is great . It has the flow and sound of a good blues song. I could see me trying to pick it out on my guitar. Good job and keep writeing -
Very nice! Loved the author notes as well!
Peace~
Az
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This is great using that dialect that makes it so special - liked the flow and the way it is written. Liked the ending - icing on the cake.
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i like this a lot. good write
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hey, i really like the voice(s) in this poem... and sort of funny in a bleak way.
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