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~~September~~

What better life
in death should be
found than that of
autumn?

Beautiful bright yellow,
orange, brown, and red, as
nature prepares itself
for the departure
of life,
and home.

Ready to depart
the sway in the wind,
droplets of rain, and
the soft feel of a child's
hand as it observes
the beauty of autumn's
flower once again.

Sweet scent of death
observed through woken
senses,
wet grass,

invigorating,  stimulating,
an awakening of the heart.

September melody,
peaceful stillness settles
once again,
finding it's rest
in the night.









A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Rita Krocha
    November 18, 2007

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    M reading this after it seems like September is long gone but I do love autumn and I love the picture you portray here. I love the stanzas, the style you have used and the very skills you have it in you to creat such a beautiful poem as this!

  • ecrivain01
    October 2, 2007
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    I'd have never thought ...

    of seeing September that way. Intriguing point of view.


  • Tamera
    September 5, 2007
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    The third stanza has the nostaglia feeling one gets in fall walking by ones self in a light rain. Many of us have to go through a time when we realize we have passed the halfway point when more of our life is behind us than ahead. It is a very eye opening time in life. We wrote of it well. Thank you.

  • nolazydaizy
    September 4, 2007

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    wonderful, wonderful. fall is such a comforting season for me and reading about it in the lovley way you've presented was a pleasure. it reminds me that my favorite time of year is just around the corner. very nicely written.


  • Tamera
    August 30, 2007
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    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe silver member
    August 29, 2007

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    Very nice indeed...I have had fall on my mind all day ...September is one of my favorite months..so many changes...I adore the colors and smells the fall rains bring...Beautiful write..
    Peace
    ~A~


  • deanc444
    August 28, 2007

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    Lovely take on Autumn

    A lovely evocative piece. Love the idea that Autumn brings life in death. Superbly observed. Best of luck.

    Few minor corrections/suggestions for you to consider before contest closes:
    First line of second stanza missing a comma after beautiful (and possibly after bright depending upon what you had in mind)
    Third line of second stanza: unclear what 'it' refers to. If Autumn or September, then not sure this works. Assuming (from what precedes and follows) you have in mind leaves, then i would favour saying so (consequential changes also - its becomes their)
    Should be invigorating not envigorating in fourth stanza. Also 'woken' works better than 'awoken' in terms of rhythmic flow.
    Should be its not it's in penultimate line


    • Summer Dawn
      August 28, 2007
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      changes have been made upon your suggestions and my viewed opinion. in finding you were right about many things. thanks for your honesty so much. it helps to find mistakes. you may take a look if you like, and be honest again, as you wish.

  • Nature Song silver member
    August 27, 2007

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    September, to find ones restful time at the end of summer.  Heat is gone, a rainbow of colors are displayed.  Time to regroup as winter comes.  Beautiful penning!  ~Sie

1 - 10 of 10