Forever in distant darkness
Multi-level lights moved in stages
A silent party’s canned sounds
Sojourning through night with hundreds
Of gamblers rolling through the night
A curiosity grows larger as lights
Los Angeles is twenty miles south
Point Conception is closer
The water and the dark sky are equals
One more solid than the other
Each flows behind and ahead
In distance and time straight lines
Will and idea flow like painted thought
Simple and pure the noises above
One surface of eternity below
Shipping lanes for ships and barges
Across the carnival heads for Hawaii
And a sail faintly moves fiberglass
Away toward tomorrow’s northwest
That oil derrick’s running lights
Emerged from the gambling cruise ship
Like increasingly vast patterns
Of stars in metamorphic constellations changing like waves on missions
Parallax forms determining in darkness
On the darkened deck cool breezes rest
One LED light swings from a boom
Daybreak’s away on another side whirled
Space-time reduces its permissible area a too slowly sailing hull leaks well
The bridge of an ocean tug is high
In a night sky it’s captain looks down
Right on a magazine photo, or a map
Two and a half stories above the ocean
Pulling a vast barge beyond the cable
Steel power and immense tonnage moving
Forward to erase the ancient fiberglass
Bow waves and props complete inertia
Before the tug boat turns off heading
Like a reprieve from the night
A heading better and brighter
Good night with large waves rocking
A sailboat sailing N.W. about Santa Cruz
Astern a captain reading radar blips
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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That was a great read there. Once I read the first line I just had to keep reading and reading I did. I loved every word used it was placed in the right spot. From that it had a great flow and I loved it. I could feel your feelings from every word used. Simply a great poem to read, I like this part the most "The water and the dark sky are equals One more solid than the other each flows behind and ahead" I liked it because it's true and to the point. I also like the background it made the words stand out more.
great job.
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I really like the imagery - I have never seen these places before, but there is a clear picture in my mind... a wonderfully expressive poem, I felt that it came full circle and I enjoyed the ending very much
Keep writing
Polly -
Very interesting. I like the amount of detail you put in it, makes you think. "The water and the dark sky are equals; One more solid than the other; Each flows behind and ahead; In distance and time straight lines; Will and idea flow like painted thought; Simple and pure the noises above; One surface of eternity below" This is my favorite part... good imagery.
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A well researched verse, portraying great visuals and environmental concerns.
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Oh. This is a cool little poem that you have going on in here. I like it. I liked how you started with the scene in a gambling hall and you remind of where we are and how close we are to others. Then you go off into space and wild ideas and then back to earth again like you're trying to show us how connnected we all are and that. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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Thank you for your comment
It was a sort of gambling hall, yet it wasn't. In the cockpit of a small sailboat at night I tried to interpret the distant lights, and those thoughts occurred.
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