The violins playing in the back.
My mind is losing track
As I glance down at my pages.
Stories of magic, lies, and sages.
Traveling through the depths of firey pits,
Challenged so hard that their wits
Are at ends.
Of course, this depends
On the will of the lost.
The travel causes exhaust
As he ventures through fire
To the nirvana, he admires.
I sip my wine and turn another leaf.
What a mental theif
This blasted story is.
The cherry on my smoke starts to fizz.
I think to myself as I read on,
"How many hours 'til dawn?"
I can't stop this tale,
My mind has no room to exhale.
Difficulty reading.
Is he even suceeding
In his journey through Hell?
He doesn't seem to dwell
On the fact that his challenge may never end
And the simple fact that he may have to defend
His simpleton guide
Will he coward and hide?
I need to flip another page,
Before my decrepit sets in.
Finished for the night?
Author notes
I've just started reading "Dante's Inferno"..
If you've ever read it, you should know what I'm talking about.
The rhyming scheme is also the same used in the writing..
Except... instead of three lines, I've used two. lol. :]
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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very nice flow works well, rhyming scheme awesome my friend
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Excellent reading.
You should check out the rest of The Divine Comedy as well.
Inferno is only one of three parts to the whole story.
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wooow, i loved this, now i want to read the book that u based it on lol. i might even try the writting scheme too =D
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Nope, this sounds young and inexperienced. Sorry to be harsh. I admire you for trying something so different but I think you need to use much stronger, more emotive imagery to make it work, i.e. draw a response from the reader. Keep going, though! Some of your stuff is great!
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Oh, wow, that's really cool...Seriously, it's really chill, really intelligent, and just fun to read. That was really creative ^_^
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I've read bits of Dante before. My old college library had copies of the books printed back in the 1800's with illustrations. I used to sit down and just pour over the antique etchings. The pictures were so expresive of what the writer was describing. I liked that you used Dante's writing style for format inspiration. It works great.
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great job.
very descriptive.
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Well done!
I thought this sounded much like Poe but now that you mention it I do see Dante in it even more. I "love" that book! (If one can love such a book) and I often remark that I'm in the Seventh Circle of Hell when I've decided to roll up my sidewalk and go home for the year! Keep 'er up! WW
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Ya I definately might just do that. I love a good novel, although I am picky on which ones I buy, it has to really catch my attention. But by the descriptiions in your poem, sounds good to me. Right now I am reading The Key To Midnight by Dean Koontz, thats a great one
Bella -
This is a brilliant write! After reading it, makes me want to read the book, seems very interesting. Great piece! I liked the rhyming scheme on this.
Bella -
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Read it!!!
It's a good tale. :]
It's a little hard to follow at times, and my rhyming sheme is close to that of the story's.
It'll cut in the middle of a sentence and enter the next rhyme. XD
There's three lines in his write, so I didn't want to fully copy it.
But do pick it up.
You might like it. =D
xx.
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once aging blowing away im sorry to sound like a kiss as but this is truely woderful my kind of poetry such ease just flows great stuff
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Damn. This is really cool... Thanks for sharing this piece.. I officially want to read the book. oo
-DAnneh<3 -
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It's a great book.
It's actually an epic poem.. like "The Odessy" or something.
Just.. a million times better. XD
AND IT RHYMES! Whoot!
Hehe.. I say you should definitely pick it upppp.
xx.
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<
You need to get on AIM, ass.
I miss you. =(
xx.
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