Thirteen years is a long time
to walk any given path
with someone at your side,
along the way, I’m sad to say,
I forgot where I was going.
not to mention who I was walking with.
Fingers that were ever intertwined
were far too easily separated,
scarily, without the mind noticing,
nor the heart crying out in alarm.
Becoming like a lone, despondent dancer,
mournfully swaying between pain and gripping numbness.
“Wake me before you leave”,
a sentence with overwhelming significance.
Leave you did and I was shattered back to reality,
I thought I was at the bottom before,
this one event showed me not only my error
but opened my eyes to my years-long descent.
Honestly I can say:
It should never have been hard to say “I love you”.
It should never have been left unsaid that “You are special”.
I should never have stopped saying “I need you”.
It should never have been anything
other than apparent that “I hold dear
and appreciate everything you have ever done, large or small”.
Most of all, as I started to drop so low,
I should have heeded your cries,
I should not have let my overwhelming pride
get in the way of saying: “Please, I need help,
but I can’t do it alone, I’m afraid to fail
and I do not know where to start”.
That, as they say, was then and this is now:
Changes started to come to me,
surprisingly because I was making it so.
I still ponder even now,
did I inherit some of this phoenix nature from you?
For it has ever been in my nature to just exist, never to be reborn.
Thus our paths again became intertwined,
happening so quickly that I had no inkling,
not for an instant did I even see it coming.
Like staring unawares straight into the searing light
as the sun unsuspectingly bursts from behind a dark cloud,
leaving me shell-shocked and numb for long weeks.
Your chosen name of Phoenix has never been more apt.
You cannot, nor have you ever been able to see
that you have always been a shining light,
one that guides and has always kept me straight,
no pain is worse to me than letting you feel nothing,
the knowledge that I closed my eyes to that light and left the path.
Though that now is the past
and as fingers long missed again intertwine,
I can stand in your light
with a new pride and honestly say:
I love you now far more than I ever have
and I will never shrink from saying it.
I need you, the other half of my soul.
Though you never see it,
you are more special than you give yourself credit,
more so than you could ever imagine yourself to be.
I thank you wholeheartedly and unabashedly
for everything you have ever done,
whether it be big or small.
You paint yourself with negative selfishness,
but look with my eyes and from my circumstance,
you would see all the generosity and graciousness.
In my life, as a friend you are unmatched.
as a lover, you steal my breath with natural ease,
there also stands as testament, always smiling, always shining,
a daughter who could never in a day ask
for a better nor a more loving mother
to walk with her through life as you did her father.
Other half of my soul, I say:
The shining, blazing Phoenix,
a light that I can only aspire to be,
for if I reach my goal
and shine half as bright as you,
then behold, what a sight we would be.
26/8/07
Author notes
Sorry, I couldn't add the picture as I'm not a Gold or Silver member. Option for this one is the first picture, "Kissing in the rain".
This one was written just before I noticed this contest, so I hadn't uploaded it until I seen the picture, which I think fits the poem (paths/road etc).
There is no set form to this one, I wanted to change forms and tempo in this one in different places throughout, so it is another formless piece of prose.
Written about myself and my circumstances of late, but more so written about, for and dedicated to my partner.
In a list
A contest entry
- Photo Inspired (Rain, Love, Nature, Beaches, The Moon, Sunsets, etc....) by Sally the Ragdoll.
600 points, ended September 23, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Rounds Contest... Open To All. by Heavens Child.
500 points, ended September 5, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me What Is In Your Heart!!! by Shauna D.
1000 points, ended September 8, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is heartbreak to you/ love reborn. by LadyKate.
355 points, ended September 15, 2007, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Love by TimeAfterTime.
425 points, ended September 8, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Guardian Angel by flamingspirit.
535 points, ended September 9, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me that......GUYS ONLY! :D by warrior-eagle.
600 points, ended October 5, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Love by live in love.
500 points, ended October 9, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options For Love by lesbian-in-love.
475 points, ended October 30, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Someone You Love Them by XxGoldenxXDawnxX.
300 points, ended January 29, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Starting over by painfully amazing.
875 points, ended May 10, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let's write about True Love by groovy afternoon.
400 points, ended July 18, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow. amazing flow. great word choice
i like that u used "being reborn' instead of "starting over". even tho its kinda the same..
great write
good luck -
that was well written. had me reeled in from the first few lines. i enjoyed reading this one a lot. i am so glad that i got such good entries so far. thanks for entering and i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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Thanks. I'm always a bit worried that this piece can be a bit long, but when I started writing it, it just kept coming.
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Honestly I can say:
It should never have been hard to say “I love you”
It should never have been left unsaid that “You are special”
I should never have stopped saying “I need you”
This was an amazing poem. -
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Thank you. This was something that I really needed to say.
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This was an amazing poem. So heartfelt and expressive. I am going through a very similar trial by fire right now with a partner that I have been with for 14 years. Your words ring so true in my case too. It is too easy to take our loved one's for granted and assume that they are happy and will always be by our side. I don't know if my story will have such a hopeful turn of events but I am so glad yours did. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Thank you very much. No-one was more surprised than me with the outcome of what I was going through. Hang in there, you just never can tell what will happen.
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Heart-stoppingly soulful....
Wow!! Such a wonderful story in poetic form. It's excellent and very well written. You have documented the journey of life together with a loved one: the downfalls, problems and all and working through it together, very well. I really enjoyed this piece.
Well Done poet!!
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Thank you very much. It was something I had to write, had to get out and it is becoming one of my favourite writes at the moment.
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This poem is beautiful. It covers both the topics, which is something I have never seen yet. It has amazing emotion and imagry. I like the refrence to the phoenix. THnak you for entering and good luck
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Thank you very much. Had to use the reference to the Phoenix, not only because thematically it worked, but also my partner is phoenix, not only in her nature, spiritually she is connected to phoenix AND it is her middle name.
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You take the reader on an incredible journey of the ups and downs and turmoils of this relationship. It is always good to reflect on our choices and attitudes, then learn from them and move on. And hopefully we have friends to help and guide us when we stray from our path. A very touching write. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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Thank you very much. The real message, I guess (other than "I love you" to my partner), is that I must never let myself slip so low, never let all that drags me down in life come between, erode, distract or destroy what is most important to me. As well as being sort of a love piece, it is also a warning.
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I've read this piece many times in the many places you have posted it and everytime it fills me with such emotion.
I walked with you through alot of those thirteen years and still walk with you, through the joys and pains you've experienced and to see this, now, come from it all... it's been worth every step, not just the poem but the changes within you and within the Phoenix we both deeply love.
Pebl-Son, you do shine with as much radience as Phoenix does. As usual, you fail to see it in yourself, but I see it...all the way from here, and you know I don't blow sunshine. It's true.
I am ever thankful you both returned to the path you are meant to travel and I know nothing and no one shall put you usunder again.
Much love,
~Soul Mum~
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Thank you. As I said elsewhere, I had to write this, had to get it all out and written down.
If only the shining as bright as Phoenix part were true,then I'd be getting somewhere a lot quicker but yeah, I don't see it.
Also, as for nothing pulling us usunder again, once again, I truly hope so.
Another thought. Would I even have been around for what transpired if I didn't have help? Who was it who was helping me again? Oh yes...that's right...
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I told you I had faith enough for both of us.
Still need to work on your listening abilities LOL -
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Well, this is true. Often I listen, but do not hear.
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I started to read because I was drawn to the title....
I found such a beautiful, amazing tribute to your love. How amazing that you feel such wonderful emotions and, words like these can only come from a heart full of love. If I were the reciever of this I would be so proud to be in-love and love the person who wrote it. My fave piece yet.
AWSOME
Thankyou for sharing. I loved the style of it, fresh and crisp.
Pho x
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Thank you very much. It is good to get things back on track again and was good to write it out.
She's just gone and had a phoenix tattoo done too.... lol -
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Your welcome, you deserve to be in the spotlight for this, so I have put it forward. I loved it.
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Again, thank you very much.
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Wow... this is an amazingly powerful piece of work!
I really liked the ending lines:
"Other half of my soul, I say
The shining, blazing Phoenix
A light that I can only aspire to be
For if I reach my goal
And shine half as bright as you
Then behold, what a sight we would be."
Keep up the good work, and good luck in the contest!
-Sally -
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Thank you. It's a piece I had been contemplating writing for a while.
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Nice
I liked it. -
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Thank you very much.
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