there is this girl
that makes my morning still
under a black sky's music
her single note plays
& the lake hushes
and sighs
as she smiles
a soft shoe silence
lulls
sleeping blue bells
gently does she sway
on the porch swing
& the back of my mind
then comes the time
when i grin like a boy
immersed in her nature
& drink from her cup
in the curve of endless
i lie breathless
with petals
of her flower
hummingbirds stand
like statues
& busy bees
play rock-a-bye
there is no sanctuary
before her
as i look to the dying moon
& declare my life
from this poet's lips...
to hers
divine
Author notes
for D
In a list
A contest entry
- Who Do You Love? (I WARN YOU... IT'S EXTREMELY CHALLENGING!) by Cherokee.
750 points, ended September 15, 2007, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I love the simplicity of this one. It's so true how when you are in love, you notice everything... the bees, the birds, just everything. And little things have so much more meaning don't they? That's why poets make the best lovers. They are observers and they feel much more deeply. Well... duh.
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'she' is one lucky lucky lady
- this is rich, like a bruise left gathering itself, plump and fragile and wonderful (Hey, bruises can be sexy!)
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Ballad
This is profound. I was immersed in this. You stopped me as I read it.. made me absorb each word. The pause in a magical moment in life. Mastery, is when you make the read do exactly what you want them to do..and you have.
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Just WOW! So much vivid imagery to feast upon in this glorious write. Expert use of metaphor all through this...over, and over, and over! "....in the curve of endless i lie breathless ...." Astounding line that leaves the reader breathless, as well. It touches so many senses... sight - all the beautiful images you provide for us, touch - swaying on a porch swing (one can actually sense the movement here...), the smell of all those beautiful blooms, and her scent..., it has us enveloped in its spell, Muddy! Masterfully written and presented, my friend. It's perfection, to say the very least. KUDOS!!!
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"there is no sanctuary
before her
as i look to the dying moon
& declare my life
from this poet's lips...
to hers
divine"
Sighhhhhhhhhhhh. Exquisite. Wanderer
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Ahh..I'm so glad I clicked on this entry first, my hopes are raised.
poet's lips, indeed.
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