I have been haunted all throughout my life
With stress and loneliness that makes me break
I crumble under all my endless strife
And at all times, my lonely heart, it aches
And as a man set on this earth to live
I am so scared that I will soon let go
There is only so much that I can give
Only so much of my heart that I show
Now every morning I am scared to wake
For fear of what may happen in the day
I question this, the world, what shall they take?
And all the judges, what will they all say?
On all the mornings when I fear the world
I hide myself like oysters hide their pearls
Author notes
This is actually the first sonnet I ever wrote, written for school, the last couplet is different than in my original draft, but I hope you all enjoy.
A contest entry
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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First sonnet?
Not bad in that case. It could use some work, but many who have written sonnets for years do no better than this. Not that it's great poetry, but it's good for a first try. I'd suggest you keep writing sonnets. I agree that the final couplet is the best part, but in a sonnet, the final couplet is supposed to be the best part. All in all, good job.
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i like it, and enjoyed it lol ^_^
awww don't hide in the oyster cause that means your a beautiful unique rare pearl and those pearls need to be found!!!
tehe i found you!
^_^
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Excellent meter, with only a couple hiccups that I could see, and even those were minor. Your rhyme is very good as well. The sonnet's strongest point is in the couplet, the imagery is awesome there. That you view yourself, your heart, as a pearl waiting to be discovered and valued (and yet fear its casting before swine, to use a Biblical reference) is a wonderful comparison. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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All our trials lord, will soon be over. On that day of days we will all understand what this all means.I wrote something like this called... Dreaming Of Sleep..It's not on this site.This made me think and feel, so it is Art to me.Thank you for your kind words and feel free to read more.I will surly do the same. BRAVO!
PS. MAYBE THE LAST LINE CAN READ,
On all the mornings when I fear the world,
I hide myself,
like an oyster hides his pearl
BLESSINGS ALWAYS,
LOWELL POE -
I've never learned how to write a sonnet; but I understand the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen each day. Don't forget, some days will bring unexpected opportunities and pleasant surprises.
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mmm, i like it. except, i think, in the last half, you used wake/take a little much. *shrugs* wake is okay, i think, as its in your title, but still... it seemed a little off. *shrugs*
good way to write out fears, however... lol -
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i revised the ending, tell me if its better
Last two lines are now:
"On all the mornings when I fear the world
I hide myself like oysters hide their pearls" -
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wicked
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