When
Mr Fosters called today
to ask me how I am
I told him
that...
tuning in
to something new
and all those
late night laughs
which were bound
to be full of clues
had left me floating
completely off balance
... on a far distant planet
seems
that's the way my
bemused brainwaves
bang the drum
now I'm feeling
nervous static
...pragmatic
even
one two
and I've no idea
what to do
about any of it?
~period of adjustment~
Wuthering heights is playing
[god, I really love that song]
I think
... he likes me?
Author notes
Blankscreen2222
A contest entry
- ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!!!!! I SWEAR! by Cherokee.
300 points, ended September 23, 2007, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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AWWWWW.
This poem's cute. The randomness but yes, control chaos was well done. It didn't inspire me though, so you can enter another one if you chose to do so.
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How have you been? long time... I remember this and how it is one of my favorite AP poems.
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Dang thing won't let me applaud again. Won't even let me leave a smiley... wazzup?!
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Heh, lost in space for sure!! Your minds space perhaps, well done nice flow from start to finish...Scott
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Very well written for this unusual contest, A great write indeed, very well done. Bless you in all you do...Scott
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"to ask me how I am" - going by what previous to this line, I feel that "am" should be "was". Just a suggestion, though.
The beginning seemed quite lucid yet when it got to the middle, and worked it's way to the end it seemed to take a cryptic and/or abstract turn, and went into something totally different. Which goes nicely with the title, I reckon.
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turning into something new....fantastic! i loved this piece. it was perfection!
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This is so cool. I told you I love Wuthering Heights. It is my absolute favorite book and movie of all time... The poem is written well and I love that that song was playing. Like I said though, the Pat Benatar version blows all the others away. Liked it a lot.
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This is beautiful, but I am wonderful if this should be making me smile..... good write here
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
Full of imagery, very good write
I have had days where I have felt like I was "floating completely of balance . . . on a far distant planet . . ." myself, so I had to chuckle at this imagery. It was encouraging that I am not the only one that feels like that sometimes. Your poem is full of some awesome imagery besides, and I fel like I am there going through this experience with you, the whole time relating to what you wrote. Good luck in the contest. -
wow...this is really interesting. seems like you have a lot of thoughts going through your mind, and they all come down to maybe being unrelated, but in the end pointing to that one question. wonderful write, i wish you all the bets in the contest
lucy
x-o-x
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Nice
Good luck in the contest. -
Okay, at first I came here because of the tittle of your poem "Lost in Space" I really like that series on TV, but its obviously got nothing to do with that. But I really enjoyed reading this, you wrote it very well and it has a nice flowing structure to it, very well done!
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Liked the flow and the brevity of the lines - liked that ending too - like walking on clouds - nothing else seems to matter at this time - I think he likes me - good feeling, for sure. Easy to read and understand the sentiments you have expressed in just that one line. Lost in space a cute title for this poem - not what I expected after the read, but very fitting.
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Very personal and you can tell it came from someplace that's real, powerfully real, I love it, good write.
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drinking from the fountain of love eh, is that song the video, very trippy. a good fast read, smiling energy
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this is a beautiful, down-to-earth, real poem.
i enjoyed every word of it.
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This is rather interesting. I was not expecting that when I clicked on the title, but I must say I wasn't let down. I loved the way you worked this and how it made me think. The ending was something I didn't expect but that's a good thing. All in all, this is a nicely penned piece. Full of emotion. Keep up the good work and best of luck in the contest.
Always and Forever,
Kristen ♥ -
really good
well, the title got me
but
you originated a powerful verse
this is such an enjoyable read
it really is "lost in space"
but
the beauty of it is
we have all been there
"on a cloud"
"off somewhere"
etc
great
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i get this now really its great i really get it verry funny actuly
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Interesting
Lost in Space is a wonderful title. It appears to be all over the place and scattered. However, I'm thinking that's for effect to show how you may be "Lost in Space" maybe a bit zoned out. Very interesting. Loved it and good luck in the contest.
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Interesting
This poem was written in an interesting way...not something im use to seeing or writing..but i think its was a very amazing poem...keep up the good writes!!!
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strANGLY i enjoyed readin this even though its all over the place and needs structure i like this there are some things i would take out and lots i would keep i would love to see this after a re work.. but for what it is so far i liked it
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Wurked
It had that sort of confused, bounced around off course a bit, wondering while wandering flavor to it. Was a good read!
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