Bitter
yellow cape clad cretin
swoops swift and sour on the guileless green
squirting
acrid citric acid into
(already stinging) eyes of artlessness
as our grocer averts his.
I'm a (twisted) lemon among limes.
Author notes
Citrus.
A contest entry
- A Lemon Among Limes by sheltered.
500 points, ended September 11, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Entertain Me by EmeraldDaze.
600 points, ended November 6, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Prompt: "I am NOT green and purple!" - so you say! by J.P.Troy.
900 points, ended April 17, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Alliteration Galore. Bring it. by lechap.
380 points, ended September 30, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Colour Contest by Emmyb.
700 points, ended March 28, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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this is definitely a sour-sweet-bitter-tasting-creative-citrus-startling poem. Fantastic read. well done. thanks for entering.
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A complex little ten lines. It's alliteration comes on subtly but it fits the bill. Solid entry
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Contest: Picture Prompt: "I am NOT green and purple!" - so you say! by JP.Troy
I loved the way that you described the colour. Even though your subject matter is completely different to this contest, you have the captured the vibrancy of the pigments.
Thank you for entering this contest. Good luck.
J.P. Troy
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I could almost taste what you wrote. Great job
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Hmmm...very interesting. I'm not sure I understand it all, but it is entertaining. I like your use of alliteration.
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Geeze man, i'm sorry I did read it several times . I guess I thought I had already commented but it was just "give 'er". I really liked it and it was in the top five I had up there actually. Great alliteration, wit and strong imagery.
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omg..just passing through..and the title hit me..lol..sly devil, you. hehehe...you almost got it past me...10 licks with a wet (pink) noodle for me...or banishment to the dark side, hehe
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Funny!
SuperLemon is here! Be afraid, be very afraid limes..
Patty
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Oh, priceless...you are the man. "acrid citric acid" I'll have to agree with your last line, hehe
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This fun bit uses the senses well, I see and feel the sour juice.
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Cute
The imagination is a jewel to admire -
Hehehe, nutters!
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Give 'er yer all... Cheers!
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That's a nice spot you have there...
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Who's put me on the spot?
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me..I did it..
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