A Corny Rhym...For Corny People....

I fell of a cliff
Broke every rib
And bashed my skull on a tree limb.
The chances that I'd live was very slim.

When I came to
My eyes were black and blue.
The mind blowing pain grew and grew.
And I couldn't find my fucking shoe!

I tried rolling on my back
But energy I lacked.
And when I did a twig went up my crack.
Shit like this never happen to Shaq!

I rolled again and then I screammed
I had rolled my ass right into a stream.
I was sure I'd drown before help came.
Life is a bitch! She could be so mean!

I finally drifted onto shore
And every piece of my flesh was sore.
I wanted to die and hurt no more
And that's when I heard a earsplitting roar...

I shook like a bitch and was full of fear.
because running towards me was a Grizzly Bear.
I remembered to play dead so I started to stare.
It poked at me and cost more blood to smare,
took one look and no longer cared.

I should've listened to what Ted said...
"Only an ass would stand on a cliff on his head"
Yet tears of pain I gladly shed.
Shit, I was damn happy I wasn't dead.