Albert Cabbagestein needs an applause,
for all the work he rendered,
sweating it all out on cabbages
for it is from where he evolved.
He is the finest sauerkraut around,
the one James Cook took to his long voyages.
He contains the complimentary high sodium
which results in all his ticks,
his head starts to shake
exactly at midnight
and bobs till the rooster wakes.
The yeast in his brain
swells his toes
till they grow so large
that people constantly point to him
and whisper,
"Pinochioo's cousin".
Every four hours
he needs to loosen his nose
to allow all the fermentation gases
to free his mind.
His favorites are sweets
and does not take anything without honey,
though how he tackles tacos with them
is a wonder to me.
My only hope is that
he does not marry,
for to support one
is enough for my lifetime.
Author notes
Albert Cabbagestein, was into um, his version of the theory of veggie- heritage. (Oh man again with the vegetable thing. I did have to collab with a dude who is a diabetic and veggie-aholic!) Basically, his idea is that man evolved from cabbage and not monkeys. Except for politicians and lawyers and, oh forget it. Just work with me here.
Now what we want is a poem to explain this mess. That's right think of some fictitious relative (for obvious reasons) and write a poem about what makes them as appealing as sauerkraut. Use them carbo metaphors to tell us why they have a brain that seems stuffed with cabbage. Knock yourself out being as insane with explaining why you feel you were cursed by the spirit of produce with this lame veggiehead relative.
In a list
A contest entry
- E = M C Sauerkraut! or the Theory of OMG They're My What? by AliceinPoetryLand.
1850 points, ended September 9, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Well done indeed
My favourite verse would have to be 'Every four hours
he needs to loosen his nose
to allow all the fermentation gases
to free his mind.'
This really made me laugh! I enjoyed the read.
However as the rules stated it shouldn't be more than 20 lines
I give you some clappies and hope this compensates fot the time you spent on this very imaginative piece
Gaylene & penman.
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