Today,
When you set free the piles of velvet
Dancing farewells to land of dreams
And returning to the world of reality,
You may discover a new true truth;
If you find the twilight sun paler than ever
And even morning air scratched your throat;
If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
To approach the Prussian blue
Tasting of those cottony clouds;
If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
Don’t forget to remember:
Our huge universe is a circular one
And
Its beginning and end are at the same point…
A contest entry
- Pif fiP by individuality.
600 points, ended August 27, 2007, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please be patient with my English mistakes.
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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I missed this poem in August. As usual, there are the beautiful Massy figures of speech. And won a silver! I am so happy for you!
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Lovely Write
This was very beautiful. So true too. You have penned some lovely imagery. Thank you for sharing with me. You take care, Sandy
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This a very beautiful and meaningful poem, Massy
And I see you won a Silver trophy with it... Congratulations
Love and
Auntie Dee
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Congratulations on your win! Yes, I guess you could say it has to be at the same point. Pi without end. How could such a thing be? Yet, it is. It would take a real grinch to look for grammatical errors in such beautiful lines. A real jealous one, to split an infinitive, right? Best Wishes to Vernal !
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I love it, wow, beautiful and most deserving of the Silver it received. A thrill to read, very captivating. lol
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wow ~ and amazing piece indeed! A pleasure to read this! fantastic and tastelful poetry and your words are so elegantly crafted. Greta write.
Thanks for commenting on mine and Kandy's poem. We appreciate it, and we appreciate the chance to have read this poem!
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Changing Taste.....
This poem reveals the very fact thatmy sweet poetess has changed the taste of poetry preceeding towards the true and pure passions of love...where the fragrance of flowers, serenity of fountains, calmness of oceans,thrill of rivers and tranquility of the moonlit nights spell their magic upon humans.....I am much impressed by your pure thoughtfullness in the innocent cover of piousness and joys!!!......Congratulations dear Ma'sumah!
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This is an amazing piece with spectacular imagery and verbiage. Well done on the silver trophy, it was highly deserved.
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Brilliant~!! Thanxx so much for the link. i'm glad I got back to this... Very unique and captivating. Congrats on the very much deserved trophy win...
Candy
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Excellent
Thanx for the link….
this was adorable, a lovely write…
good use of metaphors … good word choice and nice alliteration…. well crafted and a much enjoyed read…
Now I’m going to nit pick….
“You may discover a new true truth” truth is never false… adjective “true” doesn’t sound right “You may discover a new meaning of truth” would sound a lot better... only a suggestion…
Congratulations on winning silver… you deserved it by far…
mina
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Congrats on the trophy, and this is unique, and the imagery is awesome. Great job with the puncuation, not a lot of people can use it and not fail.
=]
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It's sometimes just to hard to live in reality...that's why I love to dream...but if I might deside to go back to earth
I would love it if your poem becomes true
If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
Don’t forget to remember:
Our huge universe is a circular one
And
Its beginning and end are at the same point…
Because that would mean my dream ending will be my beginning, and it will become my truth.....I do hope your sweet words are true......because I will always remember....
I loved it
and I will for sure miss your poetry for long
Take care sweetie
XXJeannette
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Adeleh, The circle is never ending and you captured the essence of it here. I love the alliteration used with the universe. You had elegant verbiage and created lovely imagery through your penning. Congratulations on the silver trophy and I thank you for sharing this wonderful work with all of us. Keep that ink flowing. Love and God bless, Joyce
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BREATH TAKING
From beginning to end it held my heart...Everything is connected in our universe...no beginning no end...the wonderful circle of life!...Thank you so very much for sharing this wisdom and love with me, I am thrilled
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the universe is never ending;
seems to be the point that you make and make so well in the climax of your poem. I like the way it builds up to that conclusion.
I like the free verse form you chose, and I like the similes and mataphors you give us to read.
A beautiful poem with a beautiful image.
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Yes, this poem seem to be very personal but it is written the very nice way, nice used picture with no too much adjectives giving to readers those special poetical feelings... it is no wonder to see this well deserved trophy.
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Such a lovely positive message you have here. It's easy to forget how beautiful life is when we feel sad or pain. But how great it is to be reminded of it.
A soft poem with equally soft rhythm, perfect morning read, thanks
Mari
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Life is all about beginnings and endings, life keeps moving all the time. Circle of life Excellent poem
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WoW
I've never seen anything like this before...Beautiful, I think you deserved Gold, but it wasn't my contest...
My fav is:
If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
To approach the Prussian blue
Tasting of those cottony clouds;
If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
Don’t forget to remember:
Brings much passion til the end...thanks for sharing this with me, Im honored to have read such a wonderful piece.
Thanks again,
Ephiphany
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This poem is great and congradulations on the silver trophy.
I liked this poem thank you for the link to it.
Riftkin -
True circle so you end as you start. Congratulations on your silver trophy with this deserving piece.
Bravo
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Beautiful poem, beginnings and endings are at the same point. I never looked at it like that before. Very cool
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Wonderful Vision
This is absolutely stunning, and moves in a graceful fashion, with a substantial theme!! The last three lines render the entire piece with a brilliant thought for food, evoking hope and full-fledged faith in the spirit at once!! This is a meaningful write penned wonderfully!! Keep rocking with your pen sissy; way to go............!!
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hi my dear sister
It's a beautiful poem and I see you've already won the trophy for it. Congratulations.
Happy Eid to you.
Shahrzad
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Quite lovely, you definately deserved a trophy
you write beautifully I would love you're help in my one liner contest
Tasha
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nice i really like this piece, and i can feel a lot of emotions coming from this piece.
great job
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Oh love
This is amazing
The words just dance across the page in a beautiful array of emotion...
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OOOOOoooooo!! YES!
Wonderful lines and thoughts to ponder and appreciate! I especially admire the ending line which is so profound! 
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a perfect ending to this great piece with good imagery and language that's true to Roy's duty
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Excellent
I think it's lovely how you bring the poem into a closed circle (that's how it felt to me) with the line, "Its beginning and end are at the same point". I just love the figurative speech in this poem. "Dancing farewells" is certainly something new, as well as "morning air scratched your throat", "ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
To approach the Prussian blue", "fragrance of a desire" . . . All of those were excellent descriptions. This poem is certainly eloquent and fluid. I loved it!
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that is one incredible poem..
you have defenitely grown into a very wise and eloquent poet.
=]
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This is truly a lovely poem, my dear The words give thought to much meaning.
Our memories outlast all the momentary events of our lives and carry on to bring us pleasure forever.
A beautiful piece and I wish you best of luck in the contest
love and
Auntie Dee
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Your words are quite lovely. I spoke this one aloud, since good poetry is best when it is spoken.
I really love your description here. You have a knack for giving me gorgous mental images.
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This piece was so beautiful, dear sister! It seems as though your detailed words point out such views of perfection in our world. Your descriptions brought out such images that I can only imagine. I loved the personification and metaphhors! You are a fantastic writer and I wish to see more and more of your writing as your thoughts continue to grow onto paper/a computer screen(lol) !
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that is too "budhistic" from you, Bloom
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Unique and Excellent
A different and a unique piece of your art, emerging out of your pen. I love the texture of velvet and Prussian blue in it. The cottony clouds is the unique style to describe the clouds. Good work Massy its really beautiful.
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There is no need to apologize for your English. You are back!! and your poetry is as ever unique and so beautiful!! How I have missed you!!
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a good piece - i like how the wrap at the end completes and can indeed start. thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, i wish you the best of luck.
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