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Don’t Forget To Remember

Today,
When you set free the piles of velvet
Dancing farewells to land of dreams
And returning to the world of reality,
You may discover a new true truth;

If you find the twilight sun paler than ever
And even morning air scratched your throat;
If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
To approach the Prussian blue
Tasting of those cottony clouds;
If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
Don’t forget to remember:
Our huge universe is a circular one
And
Its beginning and end are at the same point…


A contest entry

Please be patient with my English mistakes.

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Comments

1 - 61 of 61

  • mgmc gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Your talent sings! A truly great message very beautifully expressed! Wonderful poetry from a highly talented poetess. Great insight!


    • Vernal Bloom
      October 27
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      My dear! Glad to have your kind words on this page. Thankee for the encouragement and hope you are having happy times


  • awannabepoet
    September 21

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    And let it be said that the universe is boundless and within it you can find poetic voices such as yours, something to behold at times when all things of man would make even the dragons sick with repulsion there shines a little beacon of hope.

    Purity in poetry something oh so hard to find in this day and age, I sense no immense pretense here and that my friend the poet is where your work does gain its mile high stance.

    Thank you for sharing this most excellent piece of poetry.

    awannabepoet


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    September 14

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    Full Bandit Applause!

    Thanks Vernal Bloom for supporting The Poetic Bandits reading list, by contributing this heartfelt poem

    ~Lilac


  • BluesMan gold member
    September 14

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    This poem explodes in imagery and metaphor
    Your poetic voice sings within these lines.
     

    Its beginning and end are at the same point…

     

    Which makes me ponder, could space time and thought not be the seperate things they appear to be???

     

     


  • shahrzad
    September 11

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    So true, on so many levels. Thank you for writing the words to convey such thoughts and emotions. I have felt them many times and wished for the words. Thank you.


  • Rick Weston silver member
    September 11

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    a wonderful message beautifully drawn in poetic circles in your readers' minds. very well done.

  • Kalamina
    September 8

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    I liked the ending as well, it gave clarity to the poem and revealed the strong message, great write!

  • judmc
    September 7

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    Quite good imagery

    Awash with decorative metaphoric imagery,a little sparse on continuety or meaningful narrative the best part was "Don't forget to remember our huge universe is a circular one and its beginning and end are at the same point" Quite meaningful and bold....Best Wishes and kindest regards, keep writing..George...


  • Haiku-bless-you gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely, thoughtful write that stirs the imagination and gives pause to its' message. Rising from a sweet slumber, then facing the demands of ones day tends to make the returning repose something to be anticipated and appreciated. The circular path of our days refreshes us and strengthens us for future days. Well done dear poet, Write on! Congrats on the trophies!

    Brother Dennis


  • sgking123 gold member
    September 7

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    wow

    you did this one pretty beautifully....earth is round and the the end and start always meet....you are talented beyond words...I loved this poem quite alot........did you have to think hard or it arrived naturally.


  • Tzipora
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    ...

  • Tzipora
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    If you find the twilight sun paler than ever
    And even morning air scratched your throat;
    If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
    To approach the Prussian blue
    Tasting of those cottony clouds;
    If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
    Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
    Don’t forget to remember:
    Our huge universe is a circular one


    - wow. i loved the way you worded it. it wasn't to wordy that I got lost in it. but enough to keep me reading it. well done. i seriously loved. it.

    and English mistakes. what???


  • The kiss is Thirst gold member
    September 5

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    What English mistakes!

    It was a beautiful poem, with rich language and beautiful feelings. I am English and cannot come up with such words.

    Well done for this - you should be very proud


  • glenn shannon silver member
    September 4

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    absolute brilliant here and yes so it is true we travel to one end and back to where we started like life cycle really born live die very nice work indeed


  • penman gold member
    September 4
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    Wonderful

    A very well woven write. And so deserving of the trophies. Congratulations


  • trekkergirl
    September 3

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    congrats on the two trophies. They are very well deserved. You did a good job writing this one. Nicely done. I would love to read more of your writings.

  • mcheadle
    August 20

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    Words of grace and beauty

    You put them together well. It was a privilage to read some of your work...mac


  • Cast-aside-dreams
    July 22

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    Wow

    Thats realy all i can say,
    and excellent poem

    Thanks for entering


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 22

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    Very beautiful and a wonderful thought
    for this contest. Thank you very much for taking the time
    to enter our contest here. It was a pleasure to read and
    we wish you well in our contest and your future endeavors
    as a poet. Keep up the wonderful work!




    Jeremy0826


  • individuality gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    i doubt it will let me clap this again but i will try anyway, you never now. a good poem, a circular universe, with many layers i think, like an onion for it sure does make us cry.


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If you find the twilight sun paler than ever
    And even morning air scratched your throat;
    If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
    To approach the Prussian blue
    Tasting of those cottony clouds;
    If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
    Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
    Don’t forget to remember:
    Our huge universe is a circular one
    And
    Its beginning and end are at the same point…


    THis has so much emotion here thanks for sharing. and congrats on the silver medal


  • mamad gold member
    January 24, 2008
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    I missed this poem in August. As usual, there are the beautiful Massy figures of speech. And won a silver! I am so happy for you!


  • Sandygram silver member
    September 14, 2007

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    Lovely Write

    This was very beautiful. So true too. You have penned some lovely imagery. Thank you for sharing with me. You take care, Sandy


  • catz Moderators member
    September 13, 2007
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    This a very beautiful and meaningful poem, Massy And I see you won a Silver trophy with it... Congratulations

    Love and
    Auntie Dee


  • Wesley Storer
    September 7, 2007
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    Congratulations on your win! Yes, I guess you could say it has to be at the same point. Pi without end. How could such a thing be? Yet, it is. It would take a real grinch to look for grammatical errors in such beautiful lines. A real jealous one, to split an infinitive, right? Best Wishes to Vernal !


  • 2lullabyhaven
    September 7, 2007

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    I love it, wow, beautiful and most deserving of the Silver it received. A thrill to read, very captivating. lol


  • Asfand
    September 3, 2007
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    wow ~ and amazing piece indeed! A pleasure to read this! fantastic and tastelful poetry and your words are so elegantly crafted. Greta write.

    Thanks for commenting on mine and Kandy's poem. We appreciate it, and we appreciate the chance to have read this poem!


  • Mujtaba H Zaidi
    September 2, 2007

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    Changing Taste.....

    This poem reveals the very fact thatmy sweet poetess has changed the taste of poetry preceeding towards the true and pure passions of love...where the fragrance of flowers, serenity of fountains, calmness of oceans,thrill of rivers and tranquility of the moonlit nights spell their magic upon humans.....I am much impressed by your pure thoughtfullness in the innocent cover of piousness and joys!!!......Congratulations dear Ma'sumah!


  • Kiran silver member
    September 2, 2007

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    This is an amazing piece with spectacular imagery and verbiage. Well done on the silver trophy, it was highly deserved.


  • Namita
    September 2, 2007

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    Brilliant~!! Thanxx so much for the link. i'm glad I got back to this... Very unique and captivating. Congrats on the very much deserved trophy win...

    Candy

  • mina nagi
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Thanx for the link….
    this was adorable, a lovely write…
    good use of metaphors … good word choice and nice alliteration…. well crafted and a much enjoyed read…
    Now I’m going to nit pick….
    “You may discover a new true truth” truth is never false… adjective “true” doesn’t sound right “You may discover a new meaning of truth” would sound a lot better... only a suggestion…
    Congratulations on winning silver… you deserved it by far…

    mina


  • Sanity-Day10
    September 2, 2007

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    Congrats on the trophy, and this is unique, and the imagery is awesome. Great job with the puncuation, not a lot of people can use it and not fail.
    =]


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    September 2, 2007

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    It's sometimes just to hard to live in reality...that's why I love to dream...but if I might deside to go back to earth I would love it if your poem becomes true

    If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
    Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
    Don’t forget to remember:
    Our huge universe is a circular one
    And
    Its beginning and end are at the same point…

    Because that would mean my dream ending will be my beginning, and it will become my truth.....I do hope your sweet words are true......because I will always remember....

    I loved it
    and I will for sure miss your poetry for long
    Take care sweetie
    XXJeannette




  • sunny day
    September 2, 2007
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    Adeleh, The circle is never ending and you captured the essence of it here. I love the alliteration used with the universe. You had elegant verbiage and created lovely imagery through your penning. Congratulations on the silver trophy and I thank you for sharing this wonderful work with all of us. Keep that ink flowing. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BREATH TAKING

    From beginning to end it held my heart...Everything is connected in our universe...no beginning no end...the wonderful circle of life!...Thank you so very much for sharing this wisdom and love with me, I am thrilled


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    September 2, 2007
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    the universe is never ending;

    seems to be the point that you make and make so well in the climax of your poem. I like the way it builds up to that conclusion.

    I like the free verse form you chose, and I like the similes and mataphors you give us to read.

    A beautiful poem with a beautiful image.


  • Sonja
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, this poem seem to be very personal but it is written the very nice way, nice used picture with no too much adjectives giving to readers those special poetical feelings... it is no wonder to see this well deserved trophy.


  • Mari Goes gold member
    September 2, 2007

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    Such a lovely positive message you have here. It's easy to forget how beautiful life is when we feel sad or pain. But how great it is to be reminded of it.
    A soft poem with equally soft rhythm, perfect morning read, thanks

    Mari


  • Huntress silver member
    September 1, 2007

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    Life is all about beginnings and endings, life keeps moving all the time. Circle of life Excellent poem


  • Ephiphany
    September 1, 2007

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    WoW

    I've never seen anything like this before...Beautiful, I think you deserved Gold, but it wasn't my contest...
    My fav is:
    If your ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
    To approach the Prussian blue
    Tasting of those cottony clouds;
    If the fragrance of a desire didn’t leave
    Your heart in an ecstatic trembling;
    Don’t forget to remember:
    Brings much passion til the end...thanks for sharing this with me, Im honored to have read such a wonderful piece.

    Thanks again,
    Ephiphany


  • Riftkin gold member
    September 1, 2007

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    This poem is great and congradulations on the silver trophy.

    I liked this poem thank you for the link to it.

    Riftkin


  • elemental angel
    September 1, 2007

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    True circle so you end as you start. Congratulations on your silver trophy with this deserving piece.
    Bravo


  • queen Moderators member
    August 31, 2007

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    Beautiful poem, beginnings and endings are at the same point. I never looked at it like that before. Very cool


  • SabaSophiya
    August 29, 2007

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    Wonderful Vision

    This is absolutely stunning, and moves in a graceful fashion, with a substantial theme!! The last three lines render the entire piece with a brilliant thought for food, evoking hope and full-fledged faith in the spirit at once!! This is a meaningful write penned wonderfully!! Keep rocking with your pen sissy; way to go............!!

  • Ir.muse
    August 28, 2007

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    hi my dear sister

    It's a beautiful poem and I see you've already won the trophy for it. Congratulations.
    Happy Eid to you.

    Shahrzad


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    August 27, 2007

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    Quite lovely, you definately deserved a trophy
    you write beautifully I would love you're help in my one liner contest

    Tasha


  • Marctheman
    August 27, 2007

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    nice i really like this piece, and i can feel a lot of emotions coming from this piece.

    great job


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    August 27, 2007

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    Oh love
    This is amazing
    The words just dance across the page in a beautiful array of emotion...


  • Melodies
    August 26, 2007

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    OOOOOoooooo!! YES!

    Wonderful lines and thoughts to ponder and appreciate! I especially admire the ending line which is so profound!


  • aliceramone
    August 26, 2007
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    a perfect ending to this great piece with good imagery and language that's true to Roy's duty


  • Flowering Star
    August 26, 2007

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    Excellent

    I think it's lovely how you bring the poem into a closed circle (that's how it felt to me) with the line, "Its beginning and end are at the same point". I just love the figurative speech in this poem. "Dancing farewells" is certainly something new, as well as "morning air scratched your throat", "ambitious spirit doesn’t wish
    To approach the Prussian blue", "fragrance of a desire" . . . All of those were excellent descriptions. This poem is certainly eloquent and fluid. I loved it!


  • hks
    August 26, 2007

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    that is one incredible poem..

    you have defenitely grown into a very wise and eloquent poet.

    =]

  • catz Moderators member
    August 26, 2007

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    This is truly a lovely poem, my dear The words give thought to much meaning.

    Our memories outlast all the momentary events of our lives and carry on to bring us pleasure forever.

    A beautiful piece and I wish you best of luck in the contest

    love and
    Auntie Dee


  • FlamingoCroquet
    August 26, 2007

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    Your words are quite lovely. I spoke this one aloud, since good poetry is best when it is spoken.

    I really love your description here. You have a knack for giving me gorgous mental images.


  • Shakari
    August 26, 2007

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    This piece was so beautiful, dear sister! It seems as though your detailed words point out such views of perfection in our world. Your descriptions brought out such images that I can only imagine. I loved the personification and metaphhors! You are a fantastic writer and I wish to see more and more of your writing as your thoughts continue to grow onto paper/a computer screen(lol) !

  • Joao Camilo
    August 26, 2007
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    that is too "budhistic" from you, Bloom


  • Aun Ali
    August 26, 2007

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    Unique and Excellent

    A different and a unique piece of your art, emerging out of your pen. I love the texture of velvet and Prussian blue in it. The cottony clouds is the unique style to describe the clouds. Good work Massy its really beautiful.

  • mamad gold member
    August 26, 2007

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    There is no need to apologize for your English. You are back!! and your poetry is as ever unique and so beautiful!! How I have missed you!!

  • individuality gold member
    August 26, 2007
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    a good piece - i like how the wrap at the end completes and can indeed start. thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, i wish you the best of luck.

1 - 61 of 61