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Deception

Baby, keep it locked up inside your heart
Otherwise you could end up hurting us
You want to tell the truth, but please don't start
And please, oh please, don't make such a big fuss
Secrets that for so long you've tried to hide
Are now escaping through the pen in hand
And now with whom your heart shall so reside
Is so unknown like rain to desert land
Secrets will always rip your heart to shreds
And you will wonder why you first kept them
They get inside and try to fool our heads
And more will bud just from the first lie's stem
  So don't keep these from us inside your heart
  Because such lies will just tear us apart...

Author notes

Keeping secrets can end tragicly. Yet once you've lied and kept it, it's better to keep it forever. But in general, better never kept. Third sonnet I've ever written, give me your opinion.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • luna-midnight gold member
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love it! idk it kinda makes me feel really bad though but i still love it, ha some of my friends would say " she likes things that inflict pain " not really true but whatever lol, it is in this case lol


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For a mere 3rd attempt at the sonnet, you've done pretty well. The meter for the most part is pretty good, and the only truly awkward line is line 10. The words kinda trip over each other toward the end. The poem's message is very true: lies will always find a way to surface and bite in some way, despite how hard we try to keep them hidden. Thanks so much for entering my contest!


  • Perfectly Imperfect
    August 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like your way with words, the way you describe things.

    "Secrets will always rip your heart to shreds
    And you will wonder why you first kept them"

    Love those lines. You've done well with this Good luck in the contest! I shall read more of your stuff soon


  • bat-bogey
    August 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh. i liked it.
    very good.
    secrets secrets are no fun. secrets secrets may hurt someone.

1 - 6 of 6