Everyone is born with a hole in their heart,
trying to find that perfect person as they rip you apart.
grabbing your chest in a number of gasps,
to the ground you fall and collapse.
Its a deep, sharp pain of agony for you,
you lay on the ground with nothing more to do.
Bleeding from your heart and the rush feels so wrong,
is this what if feels like to get your heart ripped out all along?
So take a shot of whiskey and a little bit of rum,
It may help the thing call broken heart syndrom.
A contest entry
- A concussion. by LittleKnowItAll.
400 points, ended August 26, 2007, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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'So take a shot of whiskey and a little bit of rum,
It may help the thing call broken heart syndrom.'
Love it, if only it could always work.
I really liked this, the ryhme as well. Really flows fantastically. Lovely provoking feeling and this is goes deep without stretching out the piece or battering your mind. Well done in the contest!
<33
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Very nice how you presented this poem, using emotional pain kind of knocked me back a little there as i was looking for physical pain, but i don't mind a bit of rule bending
Good luck in the competition.
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