will there be a dot
a blip, a blotch
to show
where I have been
some proof
to mark the spot
where once I was
and never
will be again
this woman lived
I laughed
and loved
and was loved
I breathed
and burned
I was
will anyone know
will I leave
anything of myself
behind
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Love it
dear purple pen, how often have I thought of the future and wondered if anyone would have any idea that I lived, think of all the people we don't know of. I really, really liked this poem, but I can't give you any critical feed back because I did not see anything wrong with it. Keep writing.
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I love this
very, very nice *gives you thumbs up* -
Very nicely written
I loved your poem, it tells much in just a few word, and the V stands for Victory for you (dot, dot, dot, dash)....
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An excellent use of the morse code theme here. The use of short and long syllables, while keeping the language very simple and staccato is fantastic.
For me, the more complecated longer words became the dots "anyone" is a great example. The shorter words became the dashes... "this" or "will". It seems backwards, but the way we read multisylabic words is to rapid fire them all off, where as in many cases a shorter monosylabic word is given the time it needs to completely bloom when spoken. Not always the case though.
I really enjoyed this.
If I had a criticism, I would say that the 'laughed and loved' stanza is a tad cliche. It doesn't speak to me in an origional way. Even just the phrase "I was" smacks me in the face in a much more powerful way.
It really is a powerful piece. Thank you for sharing it.
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I've had the thought myself.
A hundred years from now,
will anyone know I lived? Who can say? Maybe we'll be famous poets!! 
You said it well enough.
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Intensely thought provoking
My first impression is will there or won't there. Emoyionally I know we all leave some kind of impression behind be it in our children or something we said or did. This reminds me of that everything we say comes back to haunt us or that someone will remember farther down the line. there is nothing awkward about this and I would noy change it. "I laughed and loved and was loved" were my favorite lines, because if you have these things you will never be forgotten. The title is very good for this, and the first line sets the tone very well. The last line sums up the authors thoughts very well. I liked this.
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pause...
just a dash away from finding out you were here, and isn’t that what most of us wonder about this vapor of life – what will leave behind? Or does it matter quite as much as we wanna believe it should? Smart poem in these stupid times…
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Wow - I really like this! I like what it is saying - something I'm sure we have all felt at times. That feeling 'do we even count'. In the vast universe, it seems like we are just a 'dot'... then again is the dot even noticed?
Good job!
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