I know you are leaving it is breaking my heart
What an awful reason for us having to part
This stupid Iraqui war is something I detest
I`ll hold this love letter close to my breast
Before you go dear lets make love once more
Why must you leave and walk out that door?
I wish all the wars and fighting would one day cease
What a wonderful world it would be with love and peace
Duck them bullets sweetheart tread very carefully
Come back home, promise not to be just a memory
Treasure this letter hold it so close to you
Thats right darling I have written one too
Our love is sensational, full of sparkle and beauty
I promise to be here darling, after your tour of duty
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Payment!! Won Gold In Riftkin's PIF last night .....so Lets do it! ADULTS 18+ Only by PassionsPromise.
550 points, ended August 26, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye soldier! by Procrastination.
400 points, ended September 4, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF contest -Feelings inside the war zone by kkatie55.
440 points, ended August 30, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sent Away by April Vampi72.
425 points, ended September 20, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Look At This Picture and write by WhisperingSpirit.
500 points, ended September 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Military Wives, children, parents, friends... Poems of love and commitment to your Hero by Arrianna MacEwan.
450 points, ended October 11, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest 15 enteries only by Entwining Beauty.
300 points, ended October 17, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dedications To The Soldiers by de-ja-vu.
593 points, ended October 22, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 15,000) - Part 4 Love by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended December 27, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Soldiers by darkangelcutter.
400 points, ended March 19, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ode to the Military by ur-ma-warnd-bout-me.
1000 points, ended July 12, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Human rights - and wrongs" by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended December 19, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Thank you for entering the "Human Rights - and Wrongs" competition. I have to say that I have some difficulty in empathizing with the persona you adopt in this poem. In particular, her promise in the last line evokes (in me at least) the cynical idea that this lady too "doth protest too much". For the very fact she finds it necessary to make such a promise throws doubt on her fidelity... Or perhaps you are being ironic?
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It is very well written, full of love and passion for your loved one. I wish you good luck.
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This should have been Gold
As far as I'm concerned this should have taken gold. The first 2 in the contest had quite a few mistakes.
Try to get rid of some of the commas. They aren't necessary in all of your lines and it tends to break up the flow.
M -
thank you i like it and i love the background
good luck
shannon -
Thank you for your second entry in our contest, this is an excellent poem of love.
Please join us in the further rounds of our extravaganza...Sue and Jeff
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wow this is wonderful i can tell how much you love your soldier. thanks for entering
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great poem
i really like this piece great job
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very beautiful poem, yet reads so sad good luck in my contest
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Great write. I know what it feels like to have a loved one so far away from you. It's not something easy to deal with. Hope things work out for the best. Have a great day.
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Awww ... this is so sweet ... so romantic ... so loving!!! I almost cried!!!! This was fantastic ... beautifully penned ... and so full of emotion ... I am speechless ... for the first time in a very long time ... just a simple letter ... can make so much difference ... This was great ... thank you so much for sharing this with us ... and darling ... good luck in the contest ... Much Love -
Chantelle
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Oh this was beautiful
and so very heartfelt
Thank you for entering -
this is very good no matter what contest it was entered into
best of luck in this one. be well and be blessed
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Lovely
wow what a moving piece!! I love the lines
Take this letter, and hold it so close to you
Thats right darling, I have written one too
Our love is sensational, chockful of awesome beauty
I promise, I`ll still be here, after your tour of duty
I hope this person comes back to you really soon!!!
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This poem shows what loved ones think as the other leaves for his tour of duty,breaks ones heart to see this, thanks for entering our contest,SH
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I love your rhyming technique, it really set the poem off. This was really well written. It was so emotional and heart felt.
Thankyou for entering the contest.
Much love,
Emily x -
Hey I like this poem alot...sorry to hear that ya'll are being seperated cause of this war.
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well done and may your loved one return home safe xxx
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This was a greattake on the pic given. I didnt expect this one.WOW emotional...Yes how come we all just cant get along and live in peace. I wish your beloved a safe return.
Good luck
Tory
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