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5 Sense of the Past and Present

I remember the sight of you,
when we first met. I remember
the disgust in your eyes the day you left.
I remember all the sights.

I remember the smell of your cologne,
The one that is the jacket you gave me when
I was cold. I remember the smell of the dinner
We shared for the first and last time.
I remember all the scents.

I remember the sound of your voice, steel clothed in
velvet. I remember your laugh, the day you told me it was over.
I remember all the sounds.

I remember the feel of your hand in mine, your breath upon my check.
And I remember the way a broken heart feels.
I remember all of the feelings.

I remember the taste of our first kiss, how I thought it would last.
But most of all I remember the taste of my tears as you turned and didn't look back.
I remember all of the tastes.

I can be blind and I can be deaf but I will always have the memories. So now just be
merciful and take me out of this misery.



Author notes

Well its weird because this was supposed to be a free verse but it rhymes in some parts...hmmm

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • GypsyEyes
    December 20, 2007

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    nice. so much thoughts of the past that make the present so horrible to stand. wonderful poem you've made here


  • ThatONEweirdChick
    September 24, 2007

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    I agree with the comments below mine..this poem is nice in the fact that it deals with all the senses and portrays such a sad emotion. Nice write. Thanks for adding it.


  • SignifyingNothing
    September 18, 2007

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    Unique take on a 'break-up" poem

    I really like how you structured this, and the use of the senses "sights" "sounds" etc. It's hard to write an original piece about a break-up but you succeeded very nicely. Good luck in the contest.

  • Virgoan
    September 16, 2007

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    An indeed remembrance of the things past in equal form. Nice write

    Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing fellow poet.

    >>>VIRGOAN


  • Heavens Child
    September 5, 2007

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    I love how you appeal to all the senses of the reader. It makes it easy to get into the words, because we all have memories that we can relate to them. Very well thought out and put together. Thank you for the entry.

  • Remembrance Lane
    August 26, 2007

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    Great poem! The incorporation of all of the senses made it really poignant and very sad to read.. You could really feel the pain during the whole poem but it was nice that there were those happy moments interlaced in it. Awesome job!


  • Sidra Sabella
    August 26, 2007

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    wow. this is intense, all five senses, five ways of aching for a person. its really nice the way you made it flow and pulse, it practically jumps off the page. you made me feel this and i applaud your skills and bravery.


  • ShadowsDream
    August 25, 2007

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    i see that this is from your heart. it is so sad and lovely. great job sis.i like the 5th stanza. good job.


  • NyteShade
    August 25, 2007
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    another great piece. i like the third stanza. a very sad poem.

1 - 9 of 9