Golden locks intertwined among my fingers
Soft as down, more seductive than the finest silk.
Its sweet scent envelopes me,
Consumes me into a heavenly bliss.
Drowning pools the colour of Caribbean waters
Sparkle with an unsaitable desire.
Just that look could hold me to you.
Your fingertips travel over my flesh,
Dancing on tiptoes,
Sending shivers down my spine.
A sharp, startling pain
And a bewildering cry escapes me.
I feel the hot, sticky liquid
Along with an absolute hunger.
Crimson rivers roll down my chest
While a rough tongue cleans up the mess.
Those astounding orbs gaze upon me
Completely taken over by animalism.
I am yours for the taking,
My dear brother.
Take your eagerly won trophy.
Ravish the conquered.
Sweat condensates in sticky droplets
While my breath comes out heavy and distorted.
I can feel the pools of scarlet life drying in tacky patches
And the deeper wounds still flow freely.
Pull yourself deeper into me, my love.
Let us meld into one
And let me feel your heart pounding against mine
For it is the closest you will ever let me be to your heart.
In a list
A contest entry
- Tragic Love With A Twist by Wild-N-Wiccan.
1250 points, ended September 2, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Yaoi Lovers Unite!! by Abby In Chains..
450 points, ended September 8, 2007, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[Yaoi! male x male love]] Prewrites allowed! by blood tourniquet.
500 points, ended February 7, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - finding love by Hecate616.
350 points, ended March 17, 2008, 143 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What About Love? by GypsyEyes.
500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Celebration of Our Insanity by DramaQueen469.
900 points, ended March 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Fantastic!! I wrote a poem like this once, but it was much more comedic. This is beautiful! Well done and thankyou for entering!
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
Simply amazing! The poem's like getting only glimpses of the intercourse, like miniature pictures... It's more about love than sex I think, ot at least the emotions behind it. Beautiful!
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Well, THAT was weird. I must admit, I haven't really read anything like that before. It wasn't as obscene and creepy as most things labled "Erotica", so kudos to you. Don't like the incest so much, but since I didn't say no incest I'm not going to descriminate
Thanks for entering. -
I might have been interested except that I couldn't be bothered to read past the first few spelling mistakes. Let me know if you correct it.
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Um... the only one I caught is amoung.
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There's at least another half-dozen.
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Fixed.
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WOW!
Beautifull!! This just looks like a dark fairytale, I love it!
Your have chosen very good words and they flow really great! I really thought this poem rhymed because of the great flow and rythm you've put into it.
What can I say more? Bravo!
xxx
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Shiny Imagery. But mostly I like how it was portrayed, with a hint and bits to be imagined. I liked it.
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it has a certain sweetness to it that i like.
Your fingertips travel over my flesh,
Dancing on tiptoes,
Sending shivers down my spine.
and the imagery is quite appealing.
:]
all in all i really like this poem.
♥ ♥
[[alexsis]]
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Beautiful
Absolutely breath taking. Bravo! -
this is kinda arousing sorta i think, it was well written though very well
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This is...intense...and brilliant. Wow...Simply wow.
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I think you did a great job with this one.
I love the imagery and feel of it.
Thanks a lot for your entry and good luck
to you in our contest! Keep up the great
work here!
Jeremy0826 -
Great Job!
I liked it a lot. Very sensual from beginning to end. I was completely captivated. Good luck in the contest!
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I like this a lot! Lots of imagery in here, and the flow is just right. Well done and good luck! Thanks for entering!
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This poem captivated me. Kind of naughty yet romantic. I really liked it, great write!
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wow, this is a really god poem, it is great, you absolutly amazed me with this piece. i wish you the best of luck in this contes
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from contest holder
I really love this poem! I just beg you to fix the typos. I really want to give you a top spot, but only if you fix the typos. Please?
Abby -
this was a wonderful write. it seems to have a dark side to it yet at the same time have a affectionate side
wonderfully written best of luck.
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Terrific
I love it.
It's romantic with a slight dark/vampyric hint about it. -
Great poem Nic, but like i said before something seems to be missing but you hardly notice it.
i like these lines best
A sharp, startling pain
And a bewildering cry escapes me.
I feel the hot, sticky liquid
Along with an absolute hunger.
nicely worded. good luck in the contest. -
I'm not sure what I expected, but this..... I was blown away, clean out of the water.
Absolutly friggen amazing, and the title, well I was thinking of a poem along these lines, so that's a little creepy, it ccame to me at work and then I saw this. 
wow. Amazing.
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