"OK"
The word,
- two letters -
flashed on his monitor
made his pulse race,
his ears pound
He had come close
..so close..
to this moment
many times before
but always they
stopped just short
of final rendezvous
For a moment
panic set in
- how to explain
the little lies:
the photograph,
( his sisters boy )
No hiding the
spreading middle age,
the bald pate ...
an inheritance from his
florid, booze-breath father
who also passed on
fear of failure,
insecurity,
terminal shyness...
"Got a girlfriend yet, wimp?"
The sneering laughter
Still sprung tears
of anger and frustration
But she would
understand -
hadn't she told him
that she loved him?
Shared all those
precious little
secret moments?
After all,
it was only here
in this virtual
faceless reality
that he could
really be himself;
relate as one
human being
to another
and be loved...
She would understand.
He would make her
understand...
Author notes
Option 4
A contest entry
- A walk through Shattered mirrors by MaliceInWonderland.
330 points, ended July 12, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Without Rules by reckless abandon.
900 points, ended September 6, 2008, 113 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Internet Connection by Cynthia Gaines.
1400 points, ended February 27, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thought-provoking syntax...
Thank you for your amazing entry in this Internet Connection contest!! I had to read your poem several times, and think it is just loaded with cyber truths. Wishing you all the best, and thanks again!! 
Peace, xx Cyn 
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This is a multifaceted gem. A jewel with a story to tell. Loved it!
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Exellent!
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Thank you for this wonderful written poem. It is truly a slice of reality. Good luck in the contest and God Bless, Jo-Ann
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wow, really not much else i can say about this poem, amazing, this has to seriously be one of the best ive read, your going on my favorites!
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This is a great character you have created, and the poem flows really well. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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very good peice this could be read several times and i dont think that you could ever be board of it!!
best of luck
--kat -
This is such a thought provoking piece
and I love the way that you put this
together. Wonderful work here and thanks
a lot for taking the time to enter my
contest. I appreciate it and wish you
the best of luck with it here!
Jeremy0826 -
wow, these just keep getting better and better, I'm not sure how to explain what went through me as I read this piece...the background really made this pop for some reason, I loved the use of internal struggle...amazing write, so full of promise, good luck!
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The character created in this is multi dimensional.
He's a bit dishonest, having decieved the woman, and perhaps delusional that she will over look his lies.
With the addition of the backstory of the relationship
with his father, in my thinking makes him more sympathetic. You learn he has been brow beaten and lacks self confidence and that may have lead him into his fantasy world.
It seems he's confused as to who he is...the man he portrays himself to be is the one who is "really" him...reality tells us otherwise.
In the last stanza "he would make her understand"...this is in turn hopeful, pathetic, delusional and to me a bit sinister, like he might snap.
A fictional character, that rings very true.
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