The shivers run rampant down my spine
while you smile with cold cruelty,
yanking my jeans away from my hips
and tearing away my t-shirt
like a madman overcome by lust
Does that turn you on, darling?
To know that you can have your way with me,
and throw me out like a cheaply bought slut?
How does it feel to be stronger?
Not that I'm weak
And not that I don't hate you
It's just that I have no choice
But you don't control my life,
and I'm not your sex toy
Pedophilia must be so dangerous
when you're a business man
on long trips away from home
three out of two weeks a month
I wonder what other unfortunate girl
has let herself be your whore
Or do you only ever think of me
when you're having those filthy wet dreams?
Oh, I'm sorry, did I make you angry?
Slap me again, daddy, go ahead
I know that's how you like it
You love to believe that I'm afraid of you
It's not that
I just can't stand being near you
Your breath is like a garbage dump
just waiting to implode within my mouth
while you're forcing your tongue down my throat
and hoping I will scream for you
I apologize, but I'm not a little girl anymore
I have hopes and dreams; I am a person
And you know what, sweetheart?
I'm going to make something of myself
So, while I'm avoiding sleeping at home
while you're lounging around
watching my mother shoot coke
and drink herself brain dead,
I'll be walking the streets singing
And in those few days you catch me off guard,
and fuck me raw to bleeding rubescent regret,
I'll be smiling during the daytime
and doing my school work so I can graduate,
get a job, move out, and report your crimes
But no one will know who you made me become inside
I've worked hard to be someone; I am not a victim
Don't look at me with pity in those eyes
Take your sympathy and shove it
I may be living two lives, but I am not weak
Look at me again when you see me as a person
I'm sorry that I am not the slut you wanted
I can only ever be myself; I am me
Look at me; I have a personality
Love me or leave me, babes
I don't need your approval
In a list
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is so moving it brought tears to my eyes. You have such detail and you protray such strenght in your writtings I am truly amazed
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wow, this is very dismal. It's made better, actually by the fact that the language is straight and to the point, devoid of metaphors. It feels... raw, and potent. good write!
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I thought it sounded very hopeful and strong, myself. This would be one of those poems about my character, whose story is exactly like the example in my contest you entered.
In any case, thank you for commenting, darling.
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Dismal, was not necessarily the best word choice, hope obviously shines through at the end, however the majority of the piece is very dark... but I didn't want to say dark, because it's not exclusive enough, but dismal was definitely not inclusive enough, so somewhere between dark and dismal, where emo isn't a factor and hope is at hand, lol. at anyrate, I liked it!
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Hmmm...maybe determination, stubbornness, cynical? A few words I could stick to this poem. Definitely bitter.
My character is just determined to be her own person and not let what was done to her control her life. But, at the same time, because of everything she's had to go through, she is very cynical, bitter, and angry. But she's also vulnerable and afraid.
It's a little complicated.
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