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Unseen

My ink was trembling, speech was slowing, you did not see
My eyes were closed, my eyes were flowing, you did not see.

So cliched is the "stream of grief", you did not care,
but I was trying, I was rowing, you did not see.

 

Layers of voids, and voids, and another layer.

I stripped my sorrow, I was showing, you did not see.

 

Shadows slit, the pain was sharp, surrender nigh,
You heard my cry, you were knowing, you did not see.

Silence kept us, silence breaks us. where are your words?
you did see that Raazi was going, you did not see.

Author notes

Written in the Ghazal form.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Doug Cundall
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very good. i like this form, i have not seen it before. huh. anyway i like the simplicity to this poem and you portray a sense of emotion without drowning the reader in it. great write.

    Doug Cundall


  • Silvos. silver member
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem alot, it flows so smoothly from line to line/stanza to stanza. I like the repetition you used, it wasn't too little or too much. All together great write.