Cherry socks and wisdom reputed,
she swam in the cusp of the school swings
and danced with seesaws printed upon her back.
She caught rabbits with her eyes,
while rolling papers trailed amber scores against her kneecaps.
Men's love left her scattered,
an autumnal leaf chipping away
from heavy footing.
Anthropophobia,
thick as brew, hardened one so uncomfortable.
And sure,
pencils and opened pages, held our hands and lessons
but nothing is so learned as much as when you watch a friend's dissipation.
Author notes
...
A contest entry
- Image-driven poetry by micol.
600 points, ended August 30, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I had to come back...
This is what I see...
Verse 1, here we are introduced to our main character:
A girl who has her unique style, not only in dress but attitude and personality as well. She does not conform and feels somewhat detached from her environment. Perhaps she is a bit of a loner. The words "she swam" say so much though their main emphasis to me is that she is not intimidated and she is a sponge, meaning she is absorbing everything she sees. 'Dancing with see saws printed on her back' brings a world of imagery to life. It reinforces her flair while at the same time a want for attention. It makes me picture a summer dress and tattooed girl who dances whenever she feels like it. 'She caught rabbits with her eyes' again this implies so much while reinforcing the preceding images. She is very receptive. Nothing escapes her. Coupled with the following line it leads easily into innuendos of drug use and that she makes her own way.
Verse 2: reinforces verse 1 though in a much harsher way. I picture it as if she's just gotten high:
Men and love have taken advantage of her and she's been hurt many times in the past. She feels as if she's going nowhere-- fast. Everything is just slipping away. The anthropophobia line is awesome... so satirical and yet full of harsh reality. Surrounded by so many monkeys (people she can no longer relate to) she puts up a wall becoming even more distant and hardened.
The last two lines are my favorite as they make me wonder more about the author's intentions than their more obvious meaning. I can't help but wonder if this is about a friend or is she speaking of herself in the second person and then if so, why. Is she role playing or reaching out? Is she hiding or has she left?
I absolutely love this poem. It shows a world of thought and staggering craft. I read this and immediately said, "Wow!" but to just write that would not have done it the justice it deserves.
Standing "O",
BravO again,
Kj
-
Nice convocation of imagery, especially in the opening stanza. “Anthrophobia” jars; it’s the right word but seems to shift diction levels from the opening images/lines. On the whole, though, a solid piece. Thank you for entering.
-
-
*Anthropophobia
-
-
Correct. Sorry about that. And I did like the poem.
-
-
-
bookmarked
... this is exactly what I mean.
The imagery here is unbelievable, really... swimming in the cusp, dancing with printed see-saws, catching rabbits with her eyes... wow!
The next verse brings the reader back and I am forced to sit up... my attention... thick as brew, hardened beyond comfort.
The last line though... you, old soul you!
Such truth, such wisdom.
You sure have a way with words kiddo!
Kj


1 - 5 of 5



