Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Beacon Senryu

Beacon beckon high
perched up in the mind's lighthouse
fingers the heart's cry.

Pointed glance for why
and wherefore scans horizon
as answers float by

until sea meets sky,
til haze plays daze with thought maze
echoing soul’s sigh.

Adopt or adapt,
option apt adds attention
rapt to verse unwrapped.

 

 

Author notes

pic Anu http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2776200110/

Pic Pigeon Point Lighthouse http://flickr.com/photos/brianmcintyre/2465169805/

In a list

Courtesy welcome and extended

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Stargaze
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    great write! I really liked the seond stanza a lot, and the picture of the light houses plays of the write well. I been trying to find the meaning behind this line though, "fingers the heart's cry", but thats just me, being slightly confused. overall, great write! really enjoyed the rhyming! thanks for entering! =P

    • Touching ...

      Beacon beckon high
      perched up in the mind's lighthouse
      fingers the heart's cry.

      The beam of the lighthouse is in its way a stab of light in the darkness thus finger - touching upon and touching through the dark of both mind and environment

      • Stargaze
        May 30
        Edit | Reply
        wow...that was put in a wonderful manner. very good imagery. I can just see it now. wow, amazingly put...Sorry I couldn't figure that out...


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "perched up in the mind's lighthouse" Nice wording - very thought provoking... Made me want to keep reading!

    "til haze plays daze with thought maze" - Love the rhyme and metaphorical thoughts! Intriguing

    I love philosophy poems, this is is quite thick with thought, and inner vision- Nice job!

    Amber


  • Wolfdog silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Aye, 'tis a fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • enitsirhC
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love the rhyming in this poem!
    The opening stanza is really powerful, and those words stay in my head!

    Keep up the good work!

    I'd love to read more from you in the future!



  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I like the rhyme and metre

    But too deep and philosophical for me


  • bethan-gaze
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is exquisite ... penned in fifty words exactly! "Til daze plays haze with thoughts maze" is an interesting line full of fab' imagery and innuendo. A wonderful, rich piece ... all the best in the contest.


  • Amera gold member
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutly beautiful and so well penned. I love the opening; "the mind's lighthouse". That phrase alone opened up the entire poem to intrique.

    Love,
    Amera ♥

1 - 9 of 9