Experiment

I left a place of hope and comfort
my ignorance and pride kept me from loving it for so long
and now I've returned to this empty vastness called home
and there is nothing for me here
I have that sickening feeling that I am not where I'm supposed to be
As if some cruel power above us misplaced me for his entertainment
To see how I would manage somewhere love is not meant to find me
It took me so long to realize
As a child, I was right in the beginning
for holding face the entire time
then letting every last tear burst
every year like clockwork
It's as if I was created precisely for one environment
One odd corner, one piece unfit
and my entire frame crumbles
I feel lost and broken and cheated here
And it's weak futility waiting for it to change
How could so much care and comfort
be lost so easily?
How can it be so different, why is it so hard to adapt?
It's a cruel set up to leave me here
I'm kept close in a realm of weak love