It's 2 a.m. - you're in your bed -
There's World War Three inside your head.
It's not a pleasant place in there!
You get up in your underwear
And fumble down the darkened stair
Into the unlit kitchen where
You hear that gently soothing purr -
Your cool white nurse - cold comforter!
You feel the smoothness of its side
As silently it opens wide
And all at once the room is bright!
You stand, barefoot, bathed in its light
Uncaring that you'll catch your death
Goose pimpled by its chilling breath
'Cos you're alright now -
You feel good
As, once again, you sit half nude
And stuff yourself
With comfort food.
Author notes
Treat
In a list
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 15, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me smile by james119.
525 points, ended February 16, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Food for thought by SpiceRack.
500 points, ended February 26, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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You are very good. Great ideas and very good and funny ways of expression.
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(There's World War Three inside your head.
It's not a pleasant place in there!) hi i thought these two lines were my best in the write as it was so right and to the point thanks for entering and good luck
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i love it. so different and funny. it puts a light twist on finding hope ect...and who doesnt stuff themselves at 2 in the morning? love it.
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When I first read the title, I thought it was a typo and was meant to be a bridge over troubled water, when I realized it was not a typo, I was laughing. Very quirky and funny poem
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I like this poem!It had some coolio rhymes in it!And i think I'm inspired!Thanks for the entry!
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If you are going to enter my contest I would appreciate it if you would follow the rules. You are lacking in your Author's Notes:
~Main Idea of the Poem
~Any further explanation as to why you choose that subject (not required, but it helps)
~Tell if it is supposed to rhyme or not -
Thanks for this entry. I read it over and loved the imagery. You painted such a great picture for the reader. All the best for my contest.
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Hmmmmm...I probably DON'T want to have an image of you standing naked in front of the fridge in the wee hours of the morning 
but can see where you are coming from here. Great write and best of luck in this contest 
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hahaha who doesn't do this. just sit half nude in the dark kitchen illuminated by the kitchen door still open just stuffing yourself thanks for sharing.
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You gave me a great laugh with this poem!
We have all been in that same bed,that same kitchen and that same "fridge over troubled water" Ha!
My favorite part:
"Into the unlit kitchen where
you hear that gently soothing purr-
your cool white nurse-cold comforter!"
Most unique way to describe a fridge!
You should have won the gold on this...but congrats on the silver and two honorable!!
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this is a wonderful poem the title is stunning it give the poem a great edge thnkyou for entering my contest and good luck
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'twas fantastic. Good Luck!
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Good write
My favorite lines:
You hear that gently soothing purr -
Your cool white nurse - cold comforter!
James -
Great write
You have a great sense of humor, It is really well written with a great story line. I am a late night cigarette and coffee drinker. I haven't seen too much from you lately so I wrote one asking where you were. I wanted to call it, "Where in the Hell is Jimmy Johns" but instead just called it "Jimmy Johns", I am hoping to publish and if you have no objections I am going to include it in my book.
The Best to you.
Del G.
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lol! This makes me laugh. This really would go well with Weird Al or something like that. Humourous and very silly indeed! Sounds like something I'd sing!
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Oh yeah... I've been there!! Great rhyme... this really put a smile on my face
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Awesome poem!Thanks for entering my contest!
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this is so funny! I loved the flow. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for your nice comment. Cheers, jimmy
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this is amazing. i'm so tempted to delete my poem out of the contest because i really dont have a chance. great job.
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Hey - hold off the delete button, my friend. The judge(s) may well have a different opinion. So - Good Luck. Cheers. jimmy
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Well done again Jimmy, please keep them coming and I'll read them...Sue
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Thank-you and congratulations, excellent poem and a well deserved prize. We hope to see you in the later rounds, all prize-winners are scoring points in the race to be crowned "Best Rhyming Poet on AP and thus the world!"
Thanks again for entering and supporting our rhyming extravaganza
Jeff and Sue
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We all know that feeling! Sue and I disagreed about the order of your two poems but as they didn't squeeze into the top three we could agree to differ. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Please keep up the entries!
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The rhyming you have used in this poem really is consistent, until the last 5 lines.
I like the humor that's hidden behind your words here cleverly written!
Thank you for this entry too!
Leander -
he he
My husband! He just stares some nights, in a daze, and then goes back to bed. His nurse! You captured the dumb-foundedness of it all!
Loved it!
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I tend to hit the comfort food when I am having a manic moment. Luckily they don't happen often. I tend to hit the microwave with a bag of popcorn and throw in a box of goobers. That salty/chocolate taste just hits the spot. My second best soother is simply soup. This made me smile.
♥ Touchof1der -
lol, i think alot of people do this in the winter, just chill when they dont feel like doing anything. thats where the pounds come from, and the rush to lose weight in spring, lol. nice poem.
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A well written lil' ditty! I loved the humor, but most of all got a chuckle out of how I could actually relate to it, all sluggish from being half asleep craving that midnight snack that just happens to be in the fridge! LOL
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wellcrafted..insight with humour...a seasoned sensibility
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a very original poem
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Too true
Nice rhythm, nice rhymes, the right length - thank-you!
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cricketjeff
Hi. Thanks. jimmy
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