You do not know the wind blows
Neither will I tell you.
Not secondary to spite, I just don't speak the
Language of mostpeople
With all the yesirreebobs and lookieheerwutigots
You might have said the Moon orbits the Earth
Or some other nonsensical gobblediegoop
I have tried to teach you
To speak,
But mostly listen.
How can you eat the meat when you can't digest the milk?
One day you will learn the
ABC's.
I will continue to hold the flash cards
And in desperation you will see that
I was never meant to be your
Mommy.
i feel like this is just a little bit cumbersome, do you have any suggestions?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There is a special something in this poem that makes it seem very personal. I think the elements you feel make it cumbersome is indeed what give this poem that personal touch, like you are deeply invested in this... whether you mean to or not. I think you have taken everyday feelings that are what make us human, and expressed them in an original and unique way.
Great write!
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i wouldn't say cumbersome. there is a lot in it, but it flows well. was almost like two writes to me. from 'i have tried to teach...' on had an upper feel to it, which was very appropriate. i enjoyed the non-spaced words. an intriguing write. the end was fantastic. in my opinion, this is great.
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Interesting
You were kind enough to read and comment on one of my pieces, so I thought I would return the favor.
I find this an interesting piece with respect to its form and content. It is obivously aimed at an individual or individuals with whom you are fustrated and unhappy.... but you have expressed your fustration in an interesting and poetic way. Well done.
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I really don't think this is cumbersome, in fact, I found it fun to read with the mashtogetherwords and meaningskepttogether as if sweptoutfromunder the rug.
Made me smile, and the last two lines..well, hey, we all need to say that to someone at some point in our lives
Fun read.
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awkward
I think I totally missed the point of it but I do enjoy most of your work so far. Write another poem soon. Pleeeese?!?
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