Daddy don't hurt me any more
I can't take this shit like I did before
Tangled up in this pain
With nothing left to gain
Broken angel busted wings
I lost my voice I can't sing
Why daddy did you hurt me
Why did you you make me wanna scream
You took what wasn't yours
And all you gave me was these scars and sores
You should die daddy cause you killed me
Sometimes I think only death will set me free
Daddy dear foolish daddy go away
Because of you I lost who I am today
You broke my heart and crushed my soul
And now I have nowhere else to go
Daddy don't do this to me
Daddy you're a monster can't you see
Forget the girl I was before
Cause I'm not that little girl anymore
Daddy I hate you
Daddy you just don't have a clue
Daddy hell I don't have a daddy not now
That's just something I can't allow
Daddy don't
Because of you I won't
Stand for anger and pain
With everything to lose and nothing to gain
Daddy doesn't love me
Guess he never really did I see
Goodbye daddy you don't deserve this daughter
Because to me you never were my father
Author notes
My father did his best to kill the best of me.
"Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises"
Option 6 Make me cry
Option 2 Rape
"!!!RAINBOWS AND STUFF!!!"
A contest entry
- heartbreaker by ExpectingMommy18.
550 points, ended September 22, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Show Must Go On Round 1 of 5 by Willowhaunt.
450 points, ended September 28, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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some dads are a disgrace to mankind and its a damn shame sad poem but really expressive and hit the spot well done chin up and keep at it
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woah so deep..i lovvve this
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Judged
Wow... This is some really hard stuff to read
Your words speak out to me, cry really. They beg for being left alone and not having to suffer for a sin that wasn't yours.
I hope that whilst he tried to kill the best, you retained a little. They can't take it if we won't give it up in the end... those tiny fragments of ourselves that is.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari
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powerful piece. with good rhyming. although i actually watch two of my cousins go through that, both brother and sister. but itwasn't just the father it was the mother to. so i can relate to this poem
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i love the rhyming and i love how it actuaaly makes me want to cry.. it makes me want to live that persons perspective and actuallly feel her pain over and over again!! i give it 2 thums up!
D
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powerful , sad write. so sorry you had to go through this pain and anguish. you really expressed your emotions well here and I loved the rhyme scheme. didnt seem too forced.
well done.
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I like the use of the word daddy as it makes it seem very childish, not childish bad but.. you know what i mean i hope. I know what this is like, not from my father but my step dad.
Well expressed emotion.
Laura -
Wowww. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you're doing okay now, this is never easy to recover from. I love the purity in this piece. Very well written. Thank you for entering & I wish you the best of luck with everything ♥
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i love the pleading, begging, believing that your dad is suppose to be good and love you, but once you grow up, you realize that often isnt true
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Amazing, very emotional and sad with a twist of anger. Quite beautifully written. =] Thanks for the entry.
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That sucks. Not the poem the point of the poem. The poem was great. It just sucks that that happened. Good luck on my contest and thanks for reading my rules.
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Very emotional and angry, you portray it well. I love that you keep saying daddy, it adds this wry, unexplicable harshness, how you express such anger while referring to him as an innocent child. My only critical comment is that a few of the rhymes feel forced. It's not that severe in your piece, but lines such as:
Why daddy did you hurt me
Why did you you make me wanna scream
just don't flow. Rhyming is a lot harder than not, because if it can constrict the emotion you try to convey if not done well enough. But overall you did a great job. Best of luck in the contest! -
This is really sad. I can see the anger and pain here. Great portrayal of emotions. I'm sorry you had to go through this. No one should have to.
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Strong and Heart Breaking
This very much affected me. Your words so strong and chilling. Excellent writing. I hope you are as strong as your words.
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This is really sad and I am glad you can get your feelings out
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A very sad piece, poignant and striking. There were a few errors, repeating some words unnecessarily, and the flow was little off at times. With a little bit of tweaking, this would be an amazing piece. As it is, it's very good.
Keep Quilling,
Whiskey -
Such a heart wrenching tale....
Very well written though...
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this is very sad but well written
heres a *high five* teehee
laterz
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Very Well Writen
it was very hard to decided the winner
but all in all evan though you were all very good
and hope you will enter my next contest comeing soon
so i am now saying tank you for takeing part in my first contest
Kepp up the good work
Thanks
xBx
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omg. what happened, sad story, great piece. hope your ok.
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i'm sorry you had to go through this.... if you ever need to talk i'm here
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i am so sorry to hear about what your father did to you...i think you could have added more but this is how you expressed yourself and you did a good job as writing it...my heart goes out to you and i hope you can heal from all of this...thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!!
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wow, my god, that piece is simply painfull, for me i can never imagine a father like that, because my father was a great man, but i'm only hope you wrote this for the contest. because i'm sorry if this happen to you, that pain, oh my god.
good luck in the contest
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great write. i feel the pain. good job!
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