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Laugh when you walk


Laugh when you walk
Be careful
Hide your feelings
Freedom of speech
No propaganda

What?

Do not swear

What?

Listen to you teachers
Drink water
Become one with the crowd
You are not allowed to be here

I don't want to be here

Do not smoke

I laugh when I walk...

Translated from swedish. Does it work?

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Comments


  • Katilina
    August 23, 2007

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    Maybe add a subtext that tells the concrete details of the poem. The ending of the poem is important but I agree with the comment below, to what? Maybe it got lost in the translation. I like how the poem is fragmented.


    • Lews
      August 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I put it there to get a general optimistic feel at first, but to let it decline as you read on. It probably got lost in translation when it left thought and arrived in this here real world.

      And I would never want to read any concrete details of a poem, except maybe why a structure was instead of over another, so I will not put such things here myself.


  • Play Pretend.
    August 23, 2007

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    hmm.... it seems to be proper English and all...i just don't get the significange of "Laugh When you Walk"
    perhaps you could explain it?