Inhaling your love became my death
as the charcoal shadows remain.
Lips additive to your sweet taste temptation.
I exhale slowly with a lifeless breath.
Blacken heart clouded with profound smoke
Painful sigh escape my pores
as nicotine oozes out.
Drowning me with my self tears.
Were ashes only remain;
Author notes
Prompt; NICOTINE STAINS ON THE HEART
A contest entry
- 10X50X30 PIF QUICKIE by Acidanthra.
600 points, ended August 23, 2007, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I adore your writing, beautifully detailed. It was so in depth yet so simple. It spoke words beyond words. Truly never stop, your writing speaks volumes to those willing to listen!
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The imagery is excellent. "Inhaling your love became my death, sounds like something I would write. This is a very powerful piece. Prompt matched beautifully. This all together just flowed. I love it.
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"Inhaling your love became my death
as the charcoal shadows remain.
Lips additive to your sweet taste temptation.
I exhale slowly with a lifeless breath."
Great imagery!!! Loved it!
~Dommi -
Great take on the promp you have noted in your author notes!!! You definately go the imagery out in this piece!!! Yuck!! Nothing worse than second hand smoke, especially when you are not a smoker at all!!!!!
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Good job. I do like how you responded to the prompt. I thought the opening line was great.
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well done on the prompt -- thi following line sums it up perfectly as amny htink of the love of nicotine:
Inhaling your love became my death -
NICOTINE STAINS ON THE HEART is your prompt. Good luck!
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