He's going out of his mind.
His sanity has ceased.
Broken chains, the
Untamed beast has been released.
He can't control his feelings
Or thoughts any longer.
Everything she says or does,
The beast seems to only grow stronger.
He hits her even when
She says she loves him.
He pushes her down stairs,
Breaking every one of her limbs.
Stronger with hate and
Needing to taste her forced death.
Wanting to stand over her crippled
Body, sucking out her last breath.
When did such love
Mutate into great hate?
He never treated her as he should;
She left, their relationship met its fate.
The many nights of
Drunken abuse has taken its toll.
She finally built up the courage to claim
Back the life he stole.
Far away she travels,
Never looking back.
Further and further she goes,
Making it impossible for him to track.
Author notes
We live in a fucked up world, and people who treat others like this piss me off! I can't stand domination or the overpowering of the opposite sex for superiority and comfort. We were all created equal, act like it. "Abuse" is not worth it.
-Christopher Webb aka Silvos.
A contest entry
- Abuse by InMyFlames.
1500 points, ended February 12, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Like so many people you seem to have the need to use a capital letter at the beginning of everl line.
Magnificent
flow, great idea(??!)
A fantastic finalist.
Thanks for entering. -
this is brilliant the flow is magnificent well done i love this keep up the great work and thanks for entering
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Wow this is something that needed to be written, very good of you to write on this. Abuse is a crime and it needs to end, hopefully this poem will make a difference in at leeast someones life.
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Very powerful! You really got into the head of an abuser ... the uncontrolled anger ... the violence ... hitting "even when she says she loves him." You paint a frightening image of his rage with your words and emotions. Then, you give a glimpse into the life of a woman who leaves ... and the need to stay hidden in order to stay safe.
"She finally built up the courage to claim
Back the life he stole.
Far away she travels,
Never looking back.
Further and further she goes,
Making it impossible for him to track."
Excellent write! Shining light on a societal problem that occurs all too frequently. Thank you for speaking up! ....JustBreathe
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Good work
This was a very good and I agree with your remarks.
We see so much of this. but I loved the way you ended it.
Far away she travels
Never looking back
Farther and farther she goes
Making it impossible for him to track.
Thank you for entering and good Luck
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Speechless
Is exactly what this left me. Bravo.
I really really really really loved this. Mostly because it was almost like... I feel as this was written about a time in my life. And for that ... I am absolutely astounded. It's so amazing to find a piece written by someone you never met ever... and somehow it's as if they were there all along.
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Amazing Poem
Having been in an abusive relationship like this for 13 years, I can really relate to your words. It took me a while to leave and as I look back I wonder now why I stayed that long. When you love someone I guess you keep hoping they will change. But they seldom do. Thank you for sharing this powerful write with us here. Great imagery. Take care, Sandy -
wow i just did an essay on the discrimination and characterization of races in society. this is so honest. well put!
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nicee poem mate very powerfull realityy speaks out loud
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i ust agree with your editors notes. i can't stand it when people discriminate in ANY way!
the poem gave a strong message of this. a message of how horrible we can be. thats why i loved it. it was physical, it was down-to-earth, it made me so angry! showing what some people desperatly need to see; how they're actions are veiwed by other people. and how the human race is NOT the greatest. nor are we thesmartes... were actually quite dumb, ugly, little things.
this poem spoke so loud to me.
i applaud you! thrice!
~lostelvenchild
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