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Nothing changes

Missing image
by trying to keep the world away
I bury myself in deep
hoping no one comes near
yet wishing someone would

can see it spinning quickly
as it passes me by some days
sometimes just so close
yet too far away to touch

too proud to ask for help
no one else seems to care
alone in this basement of discontent
not sure there's a way out

Author notes

Prompt: the picture above

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • also called
    December 4, 2007

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    key word hangs out

    expression isn't impaired

    overall, initializing half of first quatrain trains this.

    the second stanza zips a concept in its opening two lines towards magnitude of ending wanting to be towed somewhat. Echoes a need to separate for change not the transposition.

    comment points are because of written notification, so they will be yours too.

    crouch can be ouch,
    also called


  • zt
    August 24, 2007

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    You've penned a sad poem here. I like the way you describe the situation--almost from afar, as if disconnected from it. I think that adds to the isolation that is underlying. Good luck in the contest!


  • Amera gold member
    August 23, 2007

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    Perfect take on the picture. We have to stop and realize that we aren't alone and we do need each other. We may get scared but we have to swallow pride and open up.

    Love,
    Amera ♥


  • Nature Song silver member
    August 23, 2007

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    There is always a choice to bury ourselves deep or to make a path to the door. Cleaning house somedays does wonders! If not for yoruself fro the benefit of others espcially when we put those off! I know the feeling living with pain everyday and dying from my MS, ther are days I wish I was no longer hear, the pain unaberable at times! Other days I wish I would hve more time to spend with those I love...can win for loosing! Sie


  • WhisperingSpirit
    August 23, 2007

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    Amazing my friend, Oh the words you have used have
    shown a thousand picture's in my mind.
    You have such a strong emotional out look in your poetry,
    Good Luck


  • Touchof1der silver member
    August 23, 2007

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    First of all let me say that I REALLY like the title. It seems most befitting of the image itself and even more so as one takes the time to read the deep infusion of emotion placed within each line posted. There's a feeling of such sadness and almost an emptyness here, or for me there is. It almost sends chills through me. I think I have been in this place at some point in time in the past.

    You have really given this some thought. I appreciate that. This image was special to me for some reason and I was hoping to read some quality work and you have certainly presented that here.

    Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest and good luck.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Rusty Nail
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mercy! Not only is there amazing depth to the image here, but the words you have penned hold a great deal of depth as well. I feel a lot of emotion flowing here.

1 - 7 of 7