I watched the ceiling cave in with your name on my lips. I found your face in the cobwebs strung from every corner.
Boys like you fall like satellites from outer space. And I never really understood quite why I found you so god damn beautiful. [I swore you were like the rest.]
You didn’t give a reason for leaving; just left hugs and kisses scrawled across notebook paper and walked away from this life.
I’ve seen you around. And that shy smile of yours still finds its way between the most awkward of silences.
But my heart is standing still.
And I can’t quite remember how to breathe when your eyes meet mine.
I’ve waited by the window, beneath crescent moons, night after night, hoping to press fingertips with you. Goosebumps surface when your skin loses contact with mine.
I found star trails in your eyes and constellations across your lips. I remember the angles of your hipbones and the taste of starlight on your tongue.
A smile has erased the frown from my lips and I can’t tell if it’s the antidepressants or the fact that you’re watching my lips work around small talk.
(I’ve swallowed the past and "I love you" is glued to the back of my throat.)
I can still taste the aftermath of the fireworks from the night of our first kiss.
I’ll be waiting by the phone when you find the words to match the rhythm of the beating of your heart.
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Jeanette*~
