The delicate pastel energy of the sun and day
drives back the dominant darkness and night easily.
Such a frail, charming thing, this light.
Again the night is taken by surprise as if
not remembering that taking her in is certain death.
So beautiful. So bright. He cannot resist.
She eliminates him slowly but completely.
What little darkness there is, is caused
by the contrast between light and lack of light.
It is not night. Even in the darkest places
there is no night this day.
Although it does not matter.
The darkest places know neither night or day.
She is as gentle as she has to be.
She has astonishing power but even a minuscule cloud
can impede her to a degree.
In the places where there is no barrier
she can and will employ her extraordinary influence
to take her subjects to the same temperature
she takes such pleasure in herself.
Nothing is too good for her children.
Hours. She reigns for hours. Her will is done
as her subjects delight in her charisma.
She never tires.
The subtle mantle of darkness and the night
slip effortlessly over the brilliance of light and day.
So gentle is this covering that sweet day
does not realize she has been deposed until
looking around she finds herself in a different location.
Oh, well. This part of her realm wishes the pleasure of her
presence as well.
Dark and the night spreads swiftly. With day departed
he will make short work of his functions.
As he spreads, he sees radiant lights materialize beneath him.
Beauty. Such vast, vibrant splendor. Not his own perhaps
but caused by his influence.
And ease. Beings who were compelled to function all day
may at this time rest in preparation for tomorrow.
Night dwellers. Night mortals. Night creatures.
All may perhaps in this instance emerge in relative safety.
And evil. Wickedness is more at ease in the night.
The dark discover kin in the spirit of malevolence.
Doesn't condone. No. Never condones.
But identifies and comprehends and turns away.
No help and only coincidental encouragement.
Hours. He goes on for hours. Short hours for some.
A lifetime for others. A death time for others still.
Night enjoys his work. Dark finds irresistible his vocation.
The delicate pastel energy of the sun and day
drives back the dominant darkness and night easily.
Such a frail, charming thing, this light.
Again the night is taken by surprise as if
not remembering that taking her in is certain death.
So beautiful. So bright. He cannot resist.
She eliminates him slowly but completely.
~*~*~*~*
Author notes
lindaburns
Grand Theft Autumn
Where Is Your Boy?
Fall Out Boy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This is the story of the adventure Day and Night
have taking over each others territory. If you
will read it with that in mind, it is quite exciting.
A contest entry
- Have Fun! Be Creative! Be Inspired! by Ammon.
1800 points, ended September 17, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended September 23, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring It All by Simply Simple.
1800 points, ended February 26, 2008, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
#10......can't you just SEE it?
Comments
-
Such a lovely and interesting way of portraying
day and night. Giving them both character & emotions. From start to end it was entertaining.
Loved the read!
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This is very wonderful. I like the extended metaphor throughout the entire piece. This was lovely. Best of luck.
-
“The delicate pastel energy of the sun and day
drives back the dominant darkness and night easily.
Such a frail, charming thing, this light.
Again the night is taken by surprise as if
not remembering that taking her in is certain death.
So beautiful. So bright. He cannot resist.
She eliminates him slowly but completely.”
And thus the eternal cycle begins again. This is really well done and (though I had doubts when I saw how long it is) worth the reading. Just excellent.


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Hmmm... It's not too easy to understand. It does take deep-thought provoking ideas and images out. So you are fine with that part.
I felt though that this was more like prose. The reason is this. Though free-verse is FREE and SEEMS it does not have patterns or rhyming, it really DOES have patterns to it. I study free-verse a lot and I have not read a single one that does not have a pattern. You did a really good job with this and it DOES have it's pattern, but it's too hard to see that. I like the way you wrote this and the imagery is quite good;...there's just something missing. But what I really liked about this poem in particular is your first stanza. It's really powerful and effective. Great job and good luck!



