fear undermines my domain.
Watch the spotlight as it twists and spins,
senses, a fight to regain,
as streets become dark.
Haunted by shadows,
past demons have left their mark.
My scarred flesh, pays tribute to the blows,
nowhere left to run and hide,
rage burns deep inside.
And so it begins,
shackles broken, free from pain,
an evil heart I'm told, never wins.
Time for you to wear the chain
and hide in the dark.
Feel the sharp whip blows
against your skin, cold and stark.
Taste the sweetness of fear as it grows,
bid farewell to your known pride,
you'll spend life inside.
Author notes
Written to express deep emotions felt by a victim of torturous abuse and the retribution taken upon the abuser after the victims rescue, scenario set in times of a more extreme penal code. Written using the "Dasyure" form I created, notes for which can be found using this link http://allpoetry.com/column/2337752
In compliance with current contest rules, here is my inclusion of the word "Transatlanticism".
In a list
A contest entry
- SHOW ME YOUR BRILLIANT RHYME IN COLLABERATION WITH BLUE REW by Swan song.
900 points, ended November 10, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Different! by Trent plus pen.
800 points, ended August 19, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
And so it begins,
shackles broken, free from pain,
an evil heart I'm told, never wins.
Time for you to wear the chain
and hide in the dark.

shivers..
Excellent. No messing around with maybes or might bes, straight to the sheer pain of it all.
Congratulations on your gold,
jin

-
-
thank you so much for stopping by and reading, I'm pleased you enjoyed the richness of the content despite the darkness of it. I appreciate all the feedback I can get on pieces in my created form.
-
-
This is great!
Your created form is very clever!
Flows beautifuly.
Great poem!
Thanks for entering my contest.
Trent. -
Very good I will be back to read this again Please feel free to revise but I like this very much


-
Wonderful emotional content, Powerful. Great use of form.
Bravo


-
well done very expressive and congrats and good luck with new form

-
Very Nicely Done
This is very nicely done cousin. I love that form. I think I may have to try it one day. This is an excellent piece of writing here. Well done.
Keep writing
Love
Me















