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And So It Begins {Dasyure Form}

And so it begins,
fear undermines my domain.
Watch the spotlight as it twists and spins,
senses, a fight to regain,
as streets become dark.

Haunted by shadows,
past demons have left their mark.
My scarred flesh, pays tribute to the blows,
nowhere left to run and hide,
rage burns deep inside.

And so it begins,
shackles broken, free from pain,
an evil heart I'm told, never wins.
Time for you to wear the chain
and hide in the dark.

Feel the sharp whip blows
against your skin, cold and stark.
Taste the sweetness of fear as it grows,
bid farewell to your known pride,
you'll spend life inside.

Author notes

Written to express deep emotions felt by a victim of torturous abuse and the retribution taken upon the abuser after the victims rescue, scenario set in times of a more extreme penal code. Written using the "Dasyure" form I created, notes for which can be found using this link http://allpoetry.com/column/2337752

In compliance with current contest rules, here is my inclusion of the word "Transatlanticism".

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • JinSays gold member
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And so it begins,
    shackles broken, free from pain,
    an evil heart I'm told, never wins.
    Time for you to wear the chain
    and hide in the dark.


    shivers..
    Excellent. No messing around with maybes or might bes, straight to the sheer pain of it all.
    Congratulations on your gold,
    jin


    • Errant Panther gold member
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much for stopping by and reading, I'm pleased you enjoyed the richness of the content despite the darkness of it. I appreciate all the feedback I can get on pieces in my created form.


  • Trent plus pen
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great!
    Your created form is very clever!

    Flows beautifuly.
    Great poem!

    Thanks for entering my contest.
    Trent.


  • Swan song gold member
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good I will be back to read this again Please feel free to revise but I like this very much


  • elemental angel
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful emotional content, Powerful. Great use of form.
    Bravo


  • DolphinLass silver member
    August 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well done very expressive and congrats and good luck with new form


  • countrybabe gold member
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Nicely Done

    This is very nicely done cousin. I love that form. I think I may have to try it one day. This is an excellent piece of writing here. Well done.

    Keep writing

    Love
    Me

1 - 7 of 7