I am stalking your every foot step
I am black painted onto invisibility
your organs shudder into cold depths
this, my cold, grey, dead ability
the church in you is calling
I hear your sirens shriek purity
the child in you is falling
I feel you seek the cure in me.
Your home is a pretty haven
that I will rape and violate
fly in just like a raven
your safe solitude I penetrate
within my ally which is silence
you bleed to consecrate
and bathe your bed in violence
that I now desecrate.
My force is purely unnatural
whimper, now yes; cry
I am blasphemously supernatural
Yes Bitch! Beg me to DIE!
Romance me with your trustful squirm
woo me with your fear wide eyes
scream for me you blood filled worm
let me drink it before it dries.
Your purple wrists can ache
and your nails gather my skin
and your breath so rapid but fake
as no air is getting in
And my bite into you is sloppy
due to the belief that you can win
You're mocked as I do copy
horrified you fear my grin
My smile, smeared with your insides
jugular, way too direct
body parts are tasted and tried
and teeth pierce, yet don't inject
red and pink pulsate and call to me
oh how I wish to infect
and when you, my meal do fall to me
I'll leave you ravaged and wrecked.
A contest entry
- Everything Vampire!!! by Lord Dracon.
700 points, ended August 24, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Ever Get Enough Blood? by Count Orlok.
400 points, ended January 23, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Too many spelling mistakes for me to bother finish reading. Try spell-check or I'll bite your neck............................
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I do use spell check, I spell check every poem I write, but I have been having problems with the spell check on this site ever since the changes which has been a while, seems like I will just have to export my poems to spell check them in future. I have checked it with an external program and would appreciate it if you wanted to take another read.
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Much better now! Although spell-check never spots the wrong word (eg bathe not bath)
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Thank you for your reconsideration and bronze. It is always my most passionate poems that suffer this way as they just flow out of me so quickly I often miss details, too busy trying to get it all out. Will be more careful in future, thanks also for the learning curve.
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I am stalking your every foot step
I am black painted onto invisibility
your organs shudder into cold depths
this, my cold, grey, dead ablity
sounds like a great beginning for a
perfect tale
which is what
you did give here -
This is good, another victim is taken, this part caught my attention:
Your purple wrists can ache
and your nails gather my skin
and your breath so rapid but fake
as no air is getting in
And my bite into you is sloppy
due to the belief that you can win
You're mocked as I do copy
horrified you fear my grin
I could really feel a struggle between Vampire and victim here, wonderful! Good luck!


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Love the imagry of this piece. im always in for a great vampire poem
1 - 7 of 7





