The warm, dewy grass beneath me: a haven for my dreams,
The half-light sky above me, a diary for my fears,
Light, it's fiery hair above the horizon: massive locks, they gleam,
Shining off of every single blade of grass, as if exposing all my tears,
As the face, rearing the massive mane, appears over my blurred sight,
Lighting the sky, a beautiful orange - mingling with the deep blues,
Revealing it's body, it burns away all my fears - with it's bright white light,
A smile, warm upon my face, mingles deep, with these new hues,
Sodden grass, below my sculpted fingertips, grows dry in the day's inclination,
Evaporating all condensated obscured intentions, in it's wake,
A new day, has unfolded before my eyes, leaving me with sweet sensation,
All my fears, have been dried away, and my dreams newly awake,
I take stand, to leave: I will follow my dreams, with a spark in my eye,
These in which, I will stand: warm vivid grass beneath my bare feet,
Author notes
Tearsof0
In a list
A contest entry
- Less Than Five Trohpies Or None At All? Then C'Mere! by amaranthine lover.
516 points, ended September 12, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enchantment by Purplemoondoll.
300 points, ended August 26, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I AM NOT SIMON by Swan song.
800 points, ended September 8, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Good Poetry by Lj-.
300 points, ended September 10, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Challenge by Nicolette Everett.
450 points, ended November 25, 2007, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best PREWRITES.... by wakingdevil.
600 points, ended January 22, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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my goodness,
you are quite literate for your age.
your command of the english language is exceptional
and beyond impressive.
i will continue to read more of your work.
i think you have alot to say.
and i am impressed!!
bravo!!
candice -
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Thank you for taking your time and reading my poetry. I appreciate your kind comment
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This was a nice write but was flawed by the stanza syntax, it was uneven and the rhyming was uneven 2.Thanks for entering
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I am sorry my poetry was not good enough for you.
But, i was wondering, do you actually judge on what the poem means or just the flow and rhyme?
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I like the imagery of poems that come from dark to light, you use your adjectives well.
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Nature
And maybe the face of God has shinned on you and your very lovely poetic words
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Nicely done...I loved the softness and the happiness that you feel from the poem. That's what spoke to me most of the poem.
Nice job! -
Excellent Write
What a honor to read this increadible poem. What a gift you have. I love the title and the first and last lines. The body of this poem rings true to the reality of life so often and many of days. I love how it ends in a postive note. I absolutely loved it your amazing!! Thank you for sharing your gift to write such advanced poetry. stavykm
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this was great even if some of the thought were just a bit vague but this is a great poem to read
Riftkin -
beautiful piece love the imagery
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Good feeling to it.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck. -
Very good if I was Simon the only thing I coul dsay about this is maybe just a tad bit vague. But I can see a lot of effort in this poem. Your effot here shows and this is a lovely poem
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wonderfully written
Thanks for sharing this and i hope to read more from you later. i put if in the finalists list. thanks for sharing this.i liked this very much. thanks for entering my contest and best of luck. well written and a wonderful read. thanks again for entering. i hope to read more from you soon. -
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Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I certainly will be writing more soon.
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Fantastic Imagery
This is beautiful - wonderful flow and I love the way you have painted the scene with some vivid imagery - Excellent and good luck
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Like the couplets you used in the poem. the rhythm, rhyme and thoughts shared through the lines you have written. Vivid visuals throughout as well. Glad to see you writing and commenting still - doing well on here.
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Fantastic imagery, very good work. "Evaporating all condensated obscured intentions, in it's wake", that line felt a little awkward, I don't think it flowed as well as the rest, but it was still a very good poem. Thank you and good luck
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Beautifully written, with very lovely imagery. 'A new day, has unfolded before my eyes..... and my dreams newly awake', are my favorite lines. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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