Show me something beautiful
Guide me along your streams
Lift me into the mountains
Reveal to me your dreams
I've been trapped too long here,
Inside my frozen mind
Unearth my will to live again
Give me something to find
Disclose to me a masterpiece
Pry open my eyes
And show me all the loveliness
Through the world's hating disguise
Too long I have spent sealing
My dreams too long dismissed
I see it's time to wake again
For my mind's eye to exist
I'll stop to smell the roses
And learn to love again
I'll catch up on all that I've missed
You need only tell me when...
Author notes
Hope you don't think it sucks! This is about as happy as any of my poems get...
A contest entry
- follow your heart && nothing else by risewiththesmoke.
300 points, ended August 27, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Capture Me With Your Title by Dark Whispers.
421 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The meter of this was a little sketchy, and the rhyme scheme was nice, i'm not really a fan of ryhme, over all the was nice but thats it Nice, it need something surprising for the reader to really bring it out ouf the category of bland, and the title is not one that catches the eye, try using a metaphoric line-phraseand a little puctuation couldn't hurt; commas are much need, but still the poem was nice
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i really like this. the rhythm is kind of soothing the way it just repeats one pattern throughout the poem. nice rhymes as well. thanks for entering!
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