"Nitrogen Baby"
Vanilla lace venom drips from the lips
of the women dreaming of white fairy
dancing in her palm
dancing with the moth on the wall
with the rubber fangs
dripping with despair
no don't you dare
theres a knock coming from the front
the front door somewhere up there
rising for the first time since the wolf
the big bad wolf walking like Bush
with a wooden dick up his ass
the visitor knocks again
it sounds like an earthquake in California
who you callin' for?
the door the door not the phone
its the milk man
with more white toxin that I put in my veins
carrying balloons he walks in
for me are they for me?
oh really really I can't believe it
laughing gas oh thank you very much
my name is Mosses
and I'm building a ship
with four eyes
and extra legs
think I'll need twenty fingers a hand?
cleaning up this spill in the kitchen
such a job
such work
won't you help me?
ignore the parasites
ignore the mess on the floor
I was masturbating with a chainsaw
you know you drain me?
you know you suck me dry?
I've got nothing left
"You're my parasite and
I want to be your last victim.."
won't you be a lad?
won't you be a boy and inject the blue jay
red?
no hes definitly blue
with the syringe
its his dinner
no the other from the other cubbard
thats like acid in your eyes
what a sight oh what a sight
and the little pigglet cries
look outside!
look outside!
its raining fertilizer
no I'm looking in the mirror.
Author notes
"You're my parasite and
I want to be your last victim..."
I used workbank A
A quote
and a title, and a color
Venom In Our Veins.
A contest entry
- Doctor Blind, my baby's drooling acid.. by AshtrayBaby.
1250 points, ended August 28, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"Vanilla lace venom drips from the lips
of the women dreaming of white fairy
dancing in her palm
dancing with the moth on the wall"
Off to a great start.
What a pretty picture;
It's viscious yet has a dainty, innocent, frosted image to it.
I think that the grammar errors in here sort of confused me.
There was no punctation save the question marks and that sort of confused me because I Wasn't sure where to pause or what was a new sentance/thought or whatnot.
"I was masturbating with a chainsaw"
Oh that sounds fun.
x.x
"its his dinner"
it's*
This is so crazy.
But I did like it, a lot.
I just think if it was organized a bit more it would be even more outstanding.
Wonderful job and congrats on bronze! :]
< -
Oh Godddddd.
I don't know what to say.
I'm speechless.
The good speechles, of course.
Oh my God.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS!
Fucking..absolutely...fucking...love this.
Parts of it remind me of some of my poems.
Which I don't know if that makes me egotistical or arrogant or what. Or does it make me want to fuck myself?
I don't know.
Myabe all the above.
But the point is, I FUCING LOVED THIS!
Godddd.
It was so good.
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