Ebon ink, pads softly across the page
as inspired whispers purring in my ear
are written down, as muse dictates.
Descriptions, metaphors, emotions
pour onto a once blank, barren page
bringing forth what I compose here
without planning, just channeling.
I write not in convoluted twistings
of tongue trippings or obscure definitions
but in plain and precious crystalarity.
Taking the mundane, the every day
and in words of quiet beauty give value
to moments and memories all treasure,
the golden nuggets in life's gravel drive.
I write not for hefty tomes on shelves
analyzed by professors over eons in awe,
I strive to be the girl's jump rope chant
or the bit youngsters learn to recite.
Read, remembered maybe even treasured
by everyday people, just like me.
Author notes
entry code 2007RC108
A contest entry
- The Raven Contest: Uncovering Genius in the Written Word by Raven Contest.
14500 points, ended October 1, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Very nice metaphor of "channeling" for writing, and sometimes it "just flows" and practically writes itself!
There's great power in giving the everyday mundane things beauty...for because they are everyDay, everyOne can relate to them! Outstanding "golden nuggets in Life's gravel drive." Great imagery and word choice.
And I agree, there is a piece of belonging lingering on the lips of others in every jump rope chant, or silly little song. That is an excellent way to be remembered!
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Clarity the soul of a good poet and I'm glad to know that there are others who think and feel that way too.Love the images that replete the piece.Well crafted.
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Superb Imagery
From the opening line the flow is practically flawless! I love the use of verbs that also refer to real names of objects, etc., but my favorite line of all is "the golden nuggets in life's gravel drive." That is such a perfect metaphor for today! It harkens back to the gold mining days (we don't ever see or seriously hear of golden nuggets anymore--it is merely a saying today) and mashes that together with hope, metaphor, and the harsh reality of the gravel of life
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I like this, mainly because it expresses how I feel most poetry should be. I think poetry should not be obscure, but should be a snap shot of a moment, a feeling, a place. Poetry should express, not obscure. Sometimes I see poets that get tripped up by their own love of big words. My favorite poet is Robert Frost for a reason! teehe!
Great poem!
Jenn
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wonderful use of the word ebon, dont see that much, i tried it and i failed miserably, you have a brilliant expession of the heart of a writer, how you reveal yourself. so very enlightening.
blessings and best wishes,
~richard
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So frequently for this contest I have read author's insights into themselves or some deep aspect of the world around them. This done well is not a bad thing, and in fact poetry thrives on it. However, you have managed to employ an introspection here that is more compelling then most as you acknowledge your wish for immortality without ever actually saying so, and you manage to do so in a most interesting and compelling way. Some would say that you desire to live on as a trifle, but, instead, you are looking to exist in the place and with the people with whom you feel most comfortable. In truth, I doubt there is a better way to say what you have said.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
Outstanding
I liked how you described the whole process of writing poetry drawing on your own experience with a sense of purpose and direction. This poem is well written and articulate. Fantastic to read.
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Thank you. I appreciate your comments.
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but in plain and precious crystalarity.
Taking the mundane, the every day
and in words of quiet beauty give value
I read a author she felt that good writing can be mundane ever day events turn then into something special.
We take snapshots of moments, that many may miss. This is what many poets did in the past and present. I think you really capture the meaning of poetry. The content is very well done. Good luck in the final round. -
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Earthstar thank you. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
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Wow, fantastic imagery in this piece, my favorite part is "Descriptions, metaphors, emotions
pour onto a once blank, barren page
bringing forth what I compose here
without planning, just channeling."
It describes exactly what I go through when composing!
Great job!
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Tomboyo1, you channel very well. That's why you are one of my favorite reads.
Thank you for commenting.
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Though it may be conducive to particular topics, I feel the author here is expressing a view which I also share, that poetry doesn’t need to be dressed up in obtuse, fanciful or overly complicated vocabulary nor does it need to drown under many poetic devises so that they become the focal point rather than the content of the work. The length of poetry is also irrelevant to a degree in so much as if a poem delivers its message clearly to the reader in 5 lines then there is no cause to elongate it unless more detail is desired. Poetry should have good rhythm and flow no matter which form an author chooses to use.
The rhythm and flow of this particular work is indeed very smooth while the vocabulary and content are clear. What I feel is special about this piece is the concluding four lines because poetry should touch as many people as possible. If it attractive enough to become “the girl's jump rope chant / or the bit youngsters learn to recite” then I feel it has served its purpose well. All poets like to be read but being remembered brings a greater reward.
Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.
Northern Raven
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Thank you , I write in both rhyme and free verse. I find the poems chose their own style. This one chose free verse. Thanks again to all of you who designed, hosted and judged the Raven contest. Your time and effort is appreciated.
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Hmm.. this is a very good piece. I am really impressed at the purity of thoughts that you present here. The honesty seems to flow with every word that you write. A seemingly difficult theme it is, that you have chosen for yourself, but I can doubtlessly say that you have done an excellent job.
The vivid picture your poem paints by means of words/phrases like "ebon", "tongue trippings or obscure definitions" etc. really impresses upon the reader what you are trying to get across.
"Crystalarity" seems to be of your own innovation; crystal+clarity.. am i right?
My favorite part:
"I write not in convoluted twistings
of tongue trippings or obscure definitions
but in plain and precious crystalarity.
Taking the mundane, the every day
and in words of quiet beauty give value
to moments and memories all treasure,
the golden nuggets in life's gravel drive"
Well done!
And yes, Crystalarity is precious and pure.. well said!
Thanks for entering the Raven Qualifier and Good Luck.
Please enter your entry code in author notes so that your work can be considered. -
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Yes, I did take a little poetic license with "crystalarity"
creating my own word to express what I wanted to present. I was not sure how it would be received in the contest, but it worked too well not to go with it once it presented itsself. Thank you for the depth of your comment.
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Nice look at the why's of writing. Stream on conscience, muses, and tongue tripping. A little something for us all.
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Thank you very much.
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