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empty sea


They would have you believe it is empty,
[                                                    ],
or you, missing something
the wind in the Sargasso Sea-

an immediate re-ordering of the universe
when the eggs slide on the plate,
he, [     ] maudlin in concrete

“not the truth perhaps”
but an ocean slapping the shore
with gloved hand,

industry of sand goddess
to insure divinity
within the sea’s caress--

the breasts digress

no, nothing out of the ordinary
but only here within
art thou possessed.



In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • myrataal silver member
    September 2, 2007

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    I cannot say what I know of gloved hands ...

    for I still do not believe what I heard ...

    but:

    she was sexy and incredibly potent and he was handsome and incredibly potent and the students spied on them through a key hole. Terrible, not so? I think I sympathize with Pablo Neruda and his bicycle poem.

    But: of course I really do think some things should never be in the public eye or in communal mouth -- pun intended. And intimacy should be really, really sacred.

    I say this not with old-fashioned view. But with an ever-young knowing and the pleasure of being whole.

    Ah.

    You write such ... poetry, Favorite Mine.

    Myra

  • myrataal silver member
    August 29, 2007
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    There is nothing, nothing NOTHING ...

    as sensual as nature.

    Every morning I kiss Mount Qua ...

  • phoenixonfire
    August 24, 2007

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    Absolutely stunning! The presentation of the abstractness impressed me a lot! n the imagery rocked..thanks for entering and good luck!

    luv
    pri

  • kirkman
    August 23, 2007
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    I guess

    Sorry, it's beyond my ken.


  • cvillelisa
    August 23, 2007

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    You still reading all that language poet stuff? I think that is what this poem might be exploring. The emptiness where "art though possessed" is stripped from the poem

    to what purpose, the romantics ask? Exploration, I suppose and a vicious need to attempt to discover something original when indeed couldn't Tristan Tzara or even Artaud be considered somewhat language poets? Even their work though wasn't as scientific as this new stuff.


    Vivid
    the egg sliding from the plate
    and the gloved ocean

    Not empty as Sterile but actually almost a response to the movement using the movement to prove its failure?

    I like this. Not sure why but probably because it isn't despite it most definitely being.

    Good luck in the contest.

    Lisa



    you Lute are the type of language poet


  • z etoile
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the symbolism... when you do look at the sea it is an illusion that it is empty ist true...


    an immediate re-ordering of the universe
    when the eggs slide on the plate

    was interesting because of the new theory they have out there that there are actually seeds in comments that seed planets with the earths atmosphere to start life. I guess the send a robot or something that took 9 years to go to a comment get what was behind the comment and bring it back to earth they got them in jan of 2006.

    Who knows if the theory is correct or even close, but it goes with your poem!!!


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    August 22, 2007

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    Wow. This was an excellent write. I especially loved those last few lines. You always write such fascinating stuff.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Amanda1
    August 22, 2007

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    Loved the feeling this write inspired. Excellent use of verbal imagery to inspire emotion. Will keep an attentive eye on your work in the future.


  • Purple Pen
    August 22, 2007

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    an ocean slapping the shore

    Vivid, mysterious quality to this. Your talent is evident in this piece. Descriptive and well-thought out. The page was nicely conceived and executed. Excellent use of both image and color to convey your message here.


  • Scandalous Beauty
    August 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    industry of sand goddess to insure divinity within a sea's carress. I like it.

    Guin

1 - 10 of 10