So the world moved on without me:
And she who I adored is an unattainable dream,
Or a nightmare that teases me behind closed wet eyes.
I am like a friend, like a brother,
I am a sounding board for all the pent-up frustration
Hiding underneath domesticity.
But I can still remember how soft her lips were.
And tension builds, a wave of hormones,
And I wonder how to go back in time,
And all the useless detritus of a decade
Surrender in the distance, and mean nothing,
And a pealing in my heart, a dull clang,
Covets release from these torturous memories.
In the dark, my arms are still aflame
With the phantom feel of her:
I can still remember holding her, how that felt,
I can still remember smelling her hair
As it brushed against my quivering neck,
I can still remember such sweet things
That now form a bitter bolus lodged in my raw throat.
So the world moved on without me,
Before I realized what I had lost.
Author notes
Not really sure how I feel, or how to express it, but there are degrees of approximation, I guess.
Written September 15th, 2003
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Sad...in a way. Dwelling on the past does much damage to one's heart. I know what you mean.
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Im really suprised you dont have more comments on this piece. i realise that you wrote it a while ago. anywho. I really liked it. Your wording was amazing and your emotions just poured right through it. Great stuff!
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My first snog was shit. I was far too drunk and had to keep checking to see if my erection was visible as I danced. Bums to first love!
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how often, I have said this very same thing to myself over the past years......
So the world moved on without me,
Before I realized what I'd lost.
If only I could turn back time..... -
eh, and it happens as such all too often. those first loves give us the worst pangs of regret sometimes. lucky for me, i married mine after many mistakes, etc. you managed to combine some real "tell it straightly" language with more concrete imagery. i loved the bolus lodged in your raw throat picture. it says more than an elaborate description could. it's amazing sometimes how much can be implied through one reference alone.
i enjoyed this.
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