When I was about eleven or twelve years old
A sitcom called Happy Days premiered on TV
With an ultra-cool character named “Fonzie”
Who was everything I had ever wanted to be.
I was afraid of kids who were bigger than me
But the Fonz was feared and respected by all.
I couldn’t get a girl to look in my direction
But the girls jumped when Fonzie would call.
In fact, he didn’t even need to call them at all.
He’d just snap his fingers and they would appear.
He was like the movie cowboy who always got the girl.
His horse was his Harley, Mel's Drive-In his frontier.
The walls of his loft were adorned with pictures
Of dozens of beautiful girls, waiting for his call
So I started dressing and acting like The Fonz
But not a damn thing changed. Nope, not at all.
Oh, maybe I had a little bit more of an edge.
A leather jacket will do that, even for a kid.
But I was still the same under all that leather.
It didn’t matter how I dressed or what I did.
But old Fonzie, he planted the seeds real deep
And I never really abandoned the ultimate goals -
Of having a magnetic power over the opposite sex
And totally possessing women’s hearts and souls.
Yes, somewhere in the back of my feverish brain,
Though totally unrealistic I realize it was now,
I dreamed that all women would fall before me
Just like a field of ripe wheat falls to a plow.
No! I was not some frail and pail little geek!
I was the Fonz, man! I was as cool as can be.
I wouldn’t be nerdy, ol' Potsie Weber forever.
Somebody I’d be super cool, someday I’d be free.
And damn if it didn’t happen just as I planned.
I grew up and the girls' heads started to turn.
Finally, I’d live all of those Fonzie fantasies
That made my young heart frustratedly yearn.
The Fonz had been the coolest for long enough.
Yessir, there was a brand new sheriff in town.
My motto was "sworn to fun and loyal to none"
I was linin’ ‘em up and knockin’ ‘em down!
I was Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli, reincarnated.
I thought I’d finally achieved his level of cool.
Anyone who stuck with one girl was, well, Mr. C.
And I was having so much fun, I pitied the fool.
It didn’t help watching my friends getting divorced.
It seemed monogamy always led to pain and frustration.
And I became like a runaway slave hiding in the bushes
Bringing news of freedom to slaves on the plantation.
“That Mark’s a bad influence!” their wives would say.
“I don’t want you bar-hopping with him 'til the wee hours!
He’s a perpetual adolescent, some kind of overgrown bee
Always flying around, pollinating all the pretty flowers."
Alas, such was my curse. I just couldn’t grow up.
Every woman I ravaged left me wanting still more.
Like undiscovered countries, I never tired of traveling
With so many gorgeous valleys and mountains to explore.
But as the years passed, and with every new ending,
I felt a growing feeling of pain and terrible guilt.
After all my years of scoffing and laughing at love,
I finally felt the sorrow of every woman I'd jilt.
They say every man is haunted until his humanity awakens
So it's hard to be truly happy if one is not being kind
And every pain a man causes as he walks through this world
Will return to him someday to torture his heart and mind.
The one thing Fonzie never said on that silly, old show
Was that to be a playboy, you’ve also got to be cruel.
No woman wants to be just a notch on some guy's bedpost
So the only way to have fun is to play them for a fool.
Fonzie never told Richie that he should lie like a rug
All those times he asked him how to score with a chick
And they certainly never showed Fonzie as an old duffer
With no one left to love him when he was tired and sick.
TV's inherently dishonest. They never tell the whole story.
That’s why you’ve never seen that episode on Happy Days.
Because the only logical ending of the playboy lifestyle
Is loneliness and heartache from pushing everyone away.
The wanderer in that old song is still roaming the streets;
Still out there alone somewhere, drivin' around the world
Because he never stopped choosing freedom over happiness
When he'd choose the road over the love of one nice girl.
But I can’t blame it all on Fonzie. He was a victim, too.
He probably grew up idolizing some other sad, macho man
And feeling sorry for his father, working his life away.
Hell, we all want to stay young for as long as we can.
It wasn't just Fonzie. There was James Bond, Elvis, Sinbad,
And that sailor in the Old Spice ad with a girl in every port.
Though in real life, Elvis fell madly in love and got married,
The producers of his movies would have nothing of the sort.
No, he was a swingin’ single in every last film that he did
Always traipsing around with any girl he wanted to on a whim
Because those movies were made for guys as much as the girls
Who secretly wished that for just one day, they could be him.
So girls, don’t hate us. We’re more to be pitied than despised.
We’re just programmed through life much differently than you.
Married guys in movies aren’t as cool as the free, single ones
And it takes a whole lot of pain to make us loving and true.
“He’s just sowing his oats,” they say. “Just give him some time.”
But it seems the more oats are sown, the more wild they become
So men never mature until all their possibilities are exhausted,
Which is why it’s so rare for men to be wise when they’re young.
So that’s my story, friends, my theory and, I suppose, my excuse.
This world puts more value on quantity than quality, it seems.
But I survived despite all the "don't settle down" programming.
After all my running around, I’ve found the girl of my dreams.
I thought I was happy as the loner, always outside the campfire,
Wandering free but always lonely to the very core of my soul.
I gave my body and heart but I never gave anyone everything
And that’s what's ultimately required to be happy and whole.
While lying in bed this evening, trying to write down this poem,
I heard a lone wolf howl at the moon, somewhere in the night.
I felt a familiar kinship and sent it some love, but not envy.
I turned the light off and held onto her with all of my might.
Author notes
The Wanderer by Dion
(I wonder how much misery this song has contributed to? But at least he admits he's "goin' nowhere". lol)
Well, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down.
Where pretty girls are, you know that I'm around.
I kiss 'em and I love 'em
Cause to me they're all the same.
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em.
They don't even know my name.
They call me the wanderer.
Yeah, the wanderer.
I roam around and around and around and around.
Well, there's Mo on my left and Mary on my right,
And Janie is the girl that I'll be with tonight,
And when she asks me which one I love the best,
I tear open my shirt and it says Rosie on my chest,
'Cause I'm a wanderer. Yeah, I'm a wanderer
I roam around and around and around and around.
Well, I roam from town to town.
I go through life without a care.
And I'm as happy as a clown
With my two fists of iron, but I'm goin' nowhere.
Yeah, I'm the type of guy that likes to roam around.
I'm never in one place. I roam from town to town.
And when I find myself fallin' for some girl,
I hop right into that car of mine
And I drive around the world
Cuz I'm a wanderer. Yeah, a wanderer.
I roam around and around and around and around.
In a list
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Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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There is so much truth it this, what amazes me is stuff you watched when you were young seemed ok at the time, but when you look at it years later you think.. OMG that is so sexist, etc. Recently I ordered some Flinstones DVD's for the kids, they hated them because Fred was always yelling at Wilma, demanding dinner and just basically being a pig! As you said... Not cool!!
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Those are some smart young'un's you've got there. Must take after their mama.
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In a fascinating, entertaining style
you have captured the culture of the 50s,
the time-set of the Fonz's reign,
how it played in the 70s,
the coming to terms,
and recognition of male/female
differences and expectations.
A virtual texrbook, this chronicle.
Kudos to you for your ability
to portray it so vividly.
Aesthete
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I'm sighing, here. I asked my son if he was going to find someone to love and settle down with. He looked at me with incredulity. "Mom, marriage is the leading cause of divorce!" He's not one who wants women falling at his feet, but there is an emptiness of heart that he hides, too.
You make the truth of this adage known in your poem, Mark....(I'm remiss, not knowing it's author): "Love isn't love until it's given away."
But there is another truth, too, Love brings us home, and it's sometimes a surprise!
Sighs and smiles for a keen eye, a warm heart, and this testament of a wise man...
Karen
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Bookmarked!
Geez! Its impossible to have one favorite with you! lol
... I really enjoyed reading this, I always like your stories in poems, and the last line was incredibly sweet. Ah, Mark, if I had HALF the talent as you I would be on my way to my successful writing career. 
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I love the way you write and describe life through words and even tv daytime classics.
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"I thought I was happy as the loner, always outside the campfire,
Wandering free but always lonely to the very core of my soul.
I gave my body and heart but I never gave anyone everything
And that’s what's ultimately required to be happy and whole."
Oh how true, Mark...I wish you could impart these words of wisdom to all the men I am meeting here in FL. I am baffled by their immaturity (in their 40's mind you!) and their lack of commitment..always waiting for "something else," (something better??)..I have decided not to try decipher them or analyze what is "wrong with me" anymore (been beating my head with the proverbial stick for a year now)...and realized there is someone out there somewhere who thinks like you...thanks for the insight and the hope...much love to you...suzy
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Hey Suzy,
It's an epidemic, I'm afraid. So many women are giving it away, men can remain adolescents indefinitely. The only way they ever snap out of it is by losing enough of their youth to get scared of never having children and dying alone. The "sexual revolution" in the 60's freed women in many ways, increased their earning capacity, etc., but it also removed the allure and mystery they had for centuries prior and made men worse than they were before as a result. Before, men had to marry a woman to make love to her, and if they wanted cheap sex, they had to go find a "woman of ill-repute" on the other side of the tracks. Women controlled men before. Now men are out of control. And any woman who tries to be celibate until marriage is passed over for a woman who gives it away too easy, and that woman usually ends up being dumped when the manchild gets bored with her. It's usually not a question of "better" but "different".
The two biggest problems men need to overcome to be happy are 1) aggressiveness toward other males and 2) the need for sexual variety. Those two problems will ruin a man's life if he doesn't control them. Again, women used to control the second one very well. Not anymore. In the modern world, most women have no honor and most men have no dignity. Of course, this can be taken to extremes, as it is in the fundamentalist Muslim world, where women who are raped are killed by their fathers to "restore the family honor". I guess the answer, as always, lies in finding the happy medium somehow.
Talk to you soon,
Mark Rickerby
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So sweet!
The last lines about the wolf and your girl made me smile. I wish I could find someone that would love me like that. Fonz was before my time, but I did watch all the old reruns. I have a thing for old sitcoms... =] I was long, but not so long I lost interest. The flow kind of wandered but that doesn't matter so much in this poem as it takes on a more of a narrative feel to it, despite the rhyme.
I loved it. I was greatly entertained by the contrast you had between you and The Fonz. =] And I hope the relationship in this poem, be it true, lasts a long time.
Blessed Be
The Black Boquet
. Rewarded 8
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hehe this is a classic! oh how many guys i have known who wanted to be just like the fonz lol but it served them better to not be so "cool". bravo!
. Rewarded 4
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I really like this poem, it is funny and it also has a great ending.
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That was really good. Well written, great message. It was long, but I didn't find myself minding.
Great job!
-Dlvvanzor
. Rewarded 4
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Oh Henry Winkler. Your too cool for school. Still the inspiration, still the fonz. Thanks for brining back these happy days. Chachy was cute too.
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Excellent
Yes indeed the Fonzie he was in my time to and I think all kids needs someone they can look up to .
. Rewarded 4
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stories untold,
I agree, as long as it's someone who is wise. As "cool" as he appeared to be, the Fonzie character definitely wasn't wise.
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This is perhaps the best piece of work on this site today...I am so glad you posted it. I needed to think outside of my own crap. I love the message too, I too grew up thinking Fonzie was sooo cool. I wanted a BF just like HIM!! I had him too, and he broke my heart, a few times...my fault, really, maybe I should have stuck to re-runs of Andy Griffith. Or I Love Lucy.
I love the message, the love that shines through only AFTER lesson learned.
Jin
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks, Jin. I think your story is a common one. Women are more attracted to Fonzie but end up marrying Richie Cunningham. lol
And you're right - the lesson was learned after all the mistakes had been made, which is the way it usually happens, unfortunately. Wisdom is rarely free.
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Wonderful
Wonderful work here! Well written with a powerful message that truly touches...your words are very authentic and I can also identify with that same era..best to you in the contest peace & blessings
. Rewarded 4
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Great write and story, with a beautiful ending. I have been talking about the same thing lately, but of my gender. We are now expected to still be the mom and housewife that June Cleaver was, but also the strong independant sexy career women of Sex in the City. Isn't maturing all about, learning we are none of these, and finding ourselves somewhere in the middle.
By the way, I loved Happy Days! Enjoyed reading this very much.
best to you,
Michelle
. Rewarded 8
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Michelle,
I like your definition of maturity a lot. I remember going to movies as a kid and walking out pretending to be whoever the main character was, such was my mania to find a role model. lol Now I'm me when I go into the theater and I'm still me when I come out (for better or worse. lol)
When I was 17 or so, a few friends and I went to see First Blood (the first Rambo movie) and one of them was so inspired, he ran off and joined the Marines the next day! He bailed out after a year when he realized how much work was involved. lol Oh well, I guess we need to find out what we're not as much as what we are.
Thanks for your kind comments. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
Mark
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