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Without You

I've never felt so alone
Without you
Though I've tried to move on
Without you
I've placed this fake smile
Upon my broken face
Played this game of pretend like a child
But nothing in this world can erase
The pain I feel

Living this life
Without you
I'm not strong enough
Without you
I need you with me
But your body's so cold now
You won't wake
You've left me
To face the pain
Without you

I rise from the ashes of death
Without you
Encase my heart in stone
Without you
Everything's okay
I don't feel a thing for you
Lies, Lie to hide from the pain, to keep them at bay
They never knew, they played the fool
I'm hiding this pain

The end of the day, I am alone now
Without you
I feel the pain seep into my skin
Without you
These tears I'm shedding in vain
Without you
They won't bring you back
The emptiness still remains
I'll keep fighting for life
A life you cut so short
This strength you've given me
So I can keep living in pain
Without you

Author notes

Written after a dear friend of mine attempted suicide.

Option 2:Contest Whores: Vespasien

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    March 19, 2008

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    wow. Wonderfully written. It seems at times that you can;t live without someone. Loss Is a deadly pain. You learn to live again, though it is not easy. thanks for sharing your heart with me. I am adding to fianlists list.


  • Florida Sunshine
    March 6, 2008

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    Beautiful tribute to how you would feel without someone in your life. ~ My heart aches for you ~ cause suicidal people don't realize they hurt other people ~ they look more like they are hurting themselves ~ as if life isn't deserved. ~ it's a painful for anyone to go through.... and touches everyone to see someone hurting so badly tthey resort to ending everything. ~ Suicide is so final ~ I was glad to get to the author's notes and read "attempted" and not "committed" ~ tell your friend "Just live one more day" and take it day by day.... is my best advice...

    I can just tell you the things I mentioned above is spoken from experiance.... (but I won't go into the details of it ~ it still hard for me really to get into the details) if you have your friend say "Just live one more day" at the start of the day.... it helps you get through the day.... next thing you know its a week ~ then a month ~ then a year ~ then ten years ~ then a lifetime ~

    Thanks for the tribute ~ it is touching ~ Best of luck to you ~ and your friend. ~ I'd always be there for you!


  • LanguishedLad
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    Thankyou for the entry, and best of luck in the competition. thanks

  • LanguishedLad
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice write

    This is nice and well written but not 100% what I was looking for with this contest. I'm still going to leave it in the contest unless you feel that you may have another poem that may fit better.


  • Touchof1der silver member
    September 22, 2007

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    There was a time when I would not have squandered my time and energies on reading poetry that was grim and somber in nature such as this. I have since discovered that every visionary has something to infer and their own flavor or spice to add to the thoughts that so many of us do in fact share. I appreciate the creativity you have infused within the lines broadcast here at Allpoetry and the effort it took to voice them. I am glad I chose to read this as I would have missed a real treat.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • KoryOrmondel
    September 19, 2007

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    has deepness

    This poem has that deep feeling in it I can tell that this event hurt you a lot. There are some parts, at the begining, that seemed to not "flow". You had a pattern with a line and then ,wanting you, but you abanded it. I feel that it could have been worked in or out, not half baked, kinda there and then left hanging. I think some revision and thought could make this poem truly awsome and even could be a song, that feeling could amplifyed if this would become a song. I think you are brave and strong to put a poem like this on the internet. Keep up the work.God Bless


  • Timespell
    September 18, 2007

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    This is a heart felt poem,

    But I am just wondering if you intended this as a song? I can definitely here a song with your words.
    Ever way it's a nice write!


  • Phiona
    September 5, 2007

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    This is beautiful - you can feel the pain echoing throughout, and the lonliness seems to pour out of the words. Congratulations on a great wrie and good luck!

  • bonniegurl42
    August 26, 2007
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    a poem full of regret, pain, sadness, and loss. well written and true to what you feel. good job


  • cali951
    August 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem and I do like it but its being Dq you can enter another poen if you like.

1 - 10 of 10