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The Usurped

        The mottled gray

      of a fallen God

    lies skewed across

  bleach-white sand.

 

  It reaches toward

    the far off castle

      with its

        non-existant hand.

 

 

        The people he ruled

      fell away,

    cutting the strength

  from under him.

 

  Now he sits

    and watches idoly

      and buttering waves

        role in.

 

 

        His loyal people

      found a new home,

    with flashy

  overrated play.

 

  The precious thoughts,

    the toughts of old.

      Were lost

        to mediocrity.

 

 

        The zombie hordes

      of human shells

    no longer turn for

  his guidance.

 

  The fallen God

    that was once the mind,

      is now the prey

        of arrogance.

Author notes

I read the prompt and got to thinking, not all one sided battles are physical. Most of them are mental, and in this case severally psychological.

What this write is an example of is the fall of thoughts to mediocrity and the trendy. That the use of the human psyche is a dangerous thing, expecially when it turns most of the world in slaves to propoganda and lies.

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Comments


  • micol
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well done in form and structure. And "idoly" first what the poem is doing.

    You handle rhythm and rhyme well, making both seem integral to the poem.


  • Gossamer Guile
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is amazing in every way. I just...wow. Can't think of words. It's just amazing. I love the flow of words, quite literally, as it reminds me of waves. The second to last stanza kinda tripped the flow. You might want to delete "former" just to keep it even. But omigosh. Awesome. Perfect. Amazing. Brilliant. Wonderful. Wicked. Glorious. Beautiful. Great job.


  • Sensual Sapphire
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A different way to look at it.

    What gets me is they don't even realize it. They can't feel the tenticles of destruction wrapping around them as they stand in line for a $6.95 coffee checking their e~mail on their new i~phones and racking up 14% interest in their platinum Visa. I'm all for the days of letters written with quills and the barter system.