your love
(a butterfly) flits
from stealthiest
approach
and I am
netless
I paint
ruby lips
stand smiling
slender-stalked,
angled adequately away
you must draw near
to behold my blossom,
inhale my fragrance;
will you sip
my nectar?
A contest entry
- Insomnia by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended September 2, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh, nice. With my kids distracting me, I almost did not get the metaphor, but then it hit me. Brilliant. Thank you for entering.
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Thank you for reading and enjoying my piece...I was working from the idea of insomnia being something we long for and pursue without actual means of capture...sometimes all you can do is figure your best means of attracting it(i.e. sleep) , and then hope...
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This poem is very "alluring!" It works in so many different ways--as a concrete poem, beautiful metaphor, and words as music. I love it! Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you for your comment and clappies! It was gratifying that you could see so much in it. Thank you!
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Excellent imagery and use of alliteration. Wonderful metaphor.
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem! So very glad you enjoyed it!
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