My life is full of turmoil and depression
I have cut and carved my flesh to shreds
My tears stain my tapestry of painful sin
I so want to die yet day by day I still live
Anger boils deeply within so hard to fight
Loathing screams hungry for an end to my torment
How hard it is to take the final step
Across wrists more failed attempts
In front of a car yet why do I still live
Should I try a train spill my hate on the tracks
Shotgun to the head “BANG” blood splattered walls
Drugs to overflowing still my heart beats on
Into a river but someone dragged me clear
A car into a wall they cut me free
Death denies my attempts why?
Friends have hung themselves
Maybe that is the way I should go
Oblivion at the end of a rope
They succeed where I continuously fail
One stepped in front of train
Another cut his own throat
I have screamed but none reply
They are gone “FREE” while I live on
Now I entire being is raw with agony
From an incurable injury to my spine
Nerves on fire all the time I walk on glass
My sleep is pitifully short and broken
Nightmares fill my mind so alone I feel
So badly I want to stop struggling
Times I just want to give up and leap
Off the highest tower and welcome the concrete
Swim out to sea till I run out of energy
One day I feel I am going to lose
Maybe one day soon only I will know.
Author notes
4. TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE
Past, present,Loss The way it is for me.
I fight continuously with life, 15 years I have battled.
Depression is the pen and blood is the ink
This a path I have walked may always walk.
My poetry I use like many to keep me alive
Where many of my friends have failed and
Now I am so alone...not many are left.
A contest entry
- emotion emotion emotion...{{1000points!!}} by XInsanity-FairX.
1000 points, ended October 7, 2007, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest, I ask and expect no more.
Comments
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this was a very emotional peice
that i and many others can relate to
after trying s hard to end it all...did yew not think that maybe there is a reason that yew won't die?...
that there is someone or something yew need to live for?
i started to believe that...it kept me ging after s many failed attemps...and it turned out to be true
no matter how bad thepain is, was, orgets, yew have always got to believe that there is something coming...because that is what will keep yew alive...and the fact yew survived has got to count for something
not that yew are a faliure or that god is cruel...but that there is a reason that yew need to live -
Wow... You definitely have gone through a lot. The last paragraph... Just sounds so... Torturous. It's amazing to me how you can write such beautiful works with that kind of past (and present) but if I think about it, those type of things help, they really do. I've been through little sections from this poem, but I think you did a BEAUTIFUL job recollecting this type of pain.
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This is an amaing write so much pain and sadness flows through this it is very sad but good. My favorite lines are :
My tears stain my tapestry of painful sin
I so want to die yet day by day I still live
Anger boils deeply within so hard to fight
Loathing screams hungry for an end to my torment
Goodluck in the contest best wishes xxxxxxx
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