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for Miss Lizzy

All I can do is rock myself

All the rest of my peoples gone

I curse my man for leavin' me

To face my troubles on my own


He's sittin' with his Master now

He ain't got no more tears to cry

He's livin' in the sunlight free

He gone and left me here to die


It ain't the being dead I mind

But the living I gots to do

I ain't afraid of Death's sweet kiss

I always pays a debt 'dats due


But, God, I'm tired; I've earned my rest

I'm just longing to be with You

My body's tired of keeping on

'Dis old woman is sure 'nuff through


Just rock me; rock me gentle, Lord

Take me where I can stay for keeps

Take me and lay me with my man

Rock me easy, Lord, 'til I sleeps

Author notes

A wrong turn in the mountains took me to Miss Lizzy's front porch. She gave me directions and lemonade and listened to some of my poetry. "Why don' you write one about me someday?" she grinned toothlessly. I hope she likes it.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • ParadoxFry
    August 27, 2007

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    I think this is a really amazing piece. It almost has the character of a 'swing low sweet chariot' kind of slave-trade feel to it.

    I'm pretty steely most of the time, and it's pretty hard to get an emotional response from me (apart from anxiety, which I do pretty well... haha) but in this case, your last stanza actually puts that little lump in my throat.

    I haven't done a great deal of sylable counting, or looking for deliberate form, but I think I would have preferred "take me up in Your loving" and left off the word keep altogether, but I see where you're going with it, and it's still a beutiful and sweet sentiment.

    I know a few older people who have lost thier mates, and there is always a certian sweet pain about them. you've really captured this in Miss Lizzy.

    Excellent use of slang, and common vernacular.

    And you know, I didn't notice until re-reading it again that it actually rhymes. It's done very subtly. I don't often like rhyme, because it's usually so brutally forced as to be comical, but this was really expertly crafted.

  • Tercarro
    August 23, 2007

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    Miss Lizzy would be proud

    I think you captured miss lizzy so well and gave me a beautiful image of a wonderful woman. Thank you for working this so well.
    Terry


  • aboomer silver member
    August 22, 2007

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    I like this. I like the picture you've painted. Worded well enough to see it and sounds so real, almost like one was there.
    I am sure Miss Lizzy would love this!


  • Balldinger silver member
    August 22, 2007

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    diggin' in the dirt novels...

    sounds like it could be a good set of blues lyrics. Nice piece of work for one who listens. Did she smoke a corncob pipe and drink moonshine outta the jug, and was she thin like a lizzy she be, or did she wield an axe? Sorry, i digress...


  • Mis-Placed Texan
    August 21, 2007

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    wow i can see her there rocking.....even caught a chill too....excellent...thanks so much for commenting on my work....its greatly taken....

1 - 5 of 5